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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Day 26 January 6th



            I woke up about 35 times last night because I was upset, but I finally fell asleep only to be awakened by my alarm clock (which is actually the first time this week that has happened…so..yay?).  Today was a sleepy depressing day with more arguing about how much I suck as a human being (although it was quite a bit less arguing than the night before, and it was pretty much over by lunch so maybe this thing will go quietly into the night…until it happens again of course).
            I’ve kind of been feeling sick all week, both at my stomach ( which is because I’m evil and I hate myself…and everyone else for that matter…well, not everyone else) and in my throat/sinuses/head area.  I need to start walking but I don’t know if exercising while sick is a good idea.  I also don’t know if the only sleeping 6 hours a night has been good for me (I know a lot of people do it and are fine, but it’s making me nuts).  I’m still starting to get hungrier every day and I just found out that I’m not allowed to have "think thin" bars because of the soy in them.  That sucks.  I knew I was allowed to have soy but I guess I overlooked that part on the ingredients.  I will stop immediately.  More celery…yum…sort of.
            I’m an idiot because tonight I didn’t go to bed until after 11 again even though I have to get up early tomorrow again.  At least this time is wasn’t to fight with anyone.  Have I mentioned that there have been some awesomely positive side effects to quitting the Prozac (side effects that probably aren’t appropriate to mention here, but awesome none the less).

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on day 26
Same everything except for dinner which was baked chicken w/ garlic and pepper and steamed broccoli.

P.P.S. I was so hungry when I went to bed but I didn’t want to eat anything that close to bed time so I just ignored it like a man (although I’ve been told pretty regularly by many people including my own mother that I am not a real man…oh well, I can pretend, right?)

3 comments:

  1. Wow, Eric, I'm not sure how to respond ( actually I do but hoping my comment doesn't offended you). My heart is aching for you. My question to you is "are you miserable enough yet to want to do something about it?" God is after your heart. Are you ready to let go & let God have His way? I am reminded of the place in John 5 where Jesus encounters a man who had been an invalid for 38 yrs. John 5:6 says "when Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" I believe He is asking you that question now.

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  2. I'm not offended. And I don't really know what I want. I'm so used to life being a certain way that I don't know how I could possibly do it any differently. I have my moments of being that miserable, but they usually go away. would I have to lose my sense of humor?

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  3. No you don't have to lose your sense of humor! God gave you your sense of humor! He may tweak it a bit but you will still be you! I suspect there is even more in you yet to be uncovered! (good stuff)!

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