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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Day 19 December 30th

            I woke up and hour later than usual this morning, or at least I tried to do that.   I kept waking up every ten minutes because my brain hates me and it hates sleep.  I went to work for about 3 hours and came home and chilled, watched TV and played with the baby and the girl until 2:30.  My daughter insists on riding on me for some reason and now my knees and back hurt, it was fun though.  My mom picked us up to go to Fort Worth to see the nutritionist and my granny.  We dropped my wife and kids off at granny’s house and went to see Toni, the aforementioned nutritionist.  According to her scale I’ve lost 11 pounds since December 7th, when I last saw her (initially, if you remember, my scale wouldn’t go high enough for me to measure any of that on my own).  She seemed pretty happy about that.
            We talked about supplements and foods I can and can’t have, tortillas are okay, in small amounts, cheddar cheese is not (that’s cool, I like mozzarella).  The weird chocolate bar that I’ve been eating every now and then is good too (I guess I could post a picture, look to your right, unless you're on your phone in which case I don't know where the picture is going to be).  Goat’s milk is better for you, “Mary’s Gone Cracker” and nut thins are okay, and somehow I have to find healthy sunflower and pumpkin seeds.  She gave me a new cleanse that is supposed to kill the thing inside of me that’s making me hungry and feeling like crap.  She was happy about me quitting the Prozac and muscle relaxers, although she also seemed concerned about me quitting cold turkey (sorry, that’s just how I do things).  We talked about how I still feel awful and don’t have any energy, but she’s assured me that if I give this a couple more months and cleanses to kill the candida (the bad thing inside of me) I’ll feel awesome (it’s worth a try, because nothing else I’ve tried has helped, fingers crossed).  She seemed pleased that I’m not that hungry anymore and told me that that is what’s supposed to happen when your blood sugar balances out or something to that effect.  She also did say that she hopes she can convince me to start exercising and believes that once I get into a routine I’ll love it (we shall see about that).
            We went to the Sunflower Shoppe after the appointment to get some new healthy junk (I wonder if they sell sunflower seeds, I didn’t even think to look, maybe next time)
            Then we went to pick up granny and the wife and kids to go out to eat, which is always a challenge on this diet and also I don’t like to do it because I don’t trust restaurants to tell the truth about their ingredients (that sentence was too long).  We ate a Zoe’s Kitchen and I had a tossed Greek salad, hold the pita bread, pasta, onions, other onions, and peppers.  It was basically romaine lettuce with grilled chicken, feta cheese and cucumbers after I destroyed it by holding everything.  Then we came home and started watching a movie which I fell asleep during even though it was an awesome movie (Cowboys and Aliens), I feel like I’m starting to get sick, sore throat and congestion. That sucks

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 19:
Breakfast: same as everyday (I still love it though)
Lunch: Quesadillas w/ cheddar cheese (whoops) and corn tortilla.  One of those weird chocolate bars that I was talking about
Dinner: Zoe’s Kitchen’s tossed Greek salad w/o all the good stuff

P.P.S. Here’s a list of supplements I’m now taking:
Source Naturals’ Life Force Multiple w/o iron
Source Naturals’ Ultra-Mag (which she told me to increase because I’m larger than the average person the instructions were made for)
Solaray’s Niacin
Source Naturals’ Gaba
Country Life’s Taurine
St. Joseph’s aspirin
Here's a basic list of the stuff I can and can't have
Cleanse Max (cleanse I’ve been on since day one, it will run out on day 30, and I’ll start the new cleanse)

Day 18 December 29th

            I woke up completely out of it this morning, fumbling for my alarm clocks (that’s right, clocks, plural) stumbling into the wall, feeling pretty awful.  I got about 7 hours of sleep so I don’t really know what was wrong with me.  My wife watched a 3 year old today and he was crazy hyper and loud.  He also made the girl crazy hyper and loud.  So we had two small screaming children running around plus the baby who’s sometimes kind of a handful himself.  I’m just saying that I should have stayed at work all day yesterday.
            Today I got off early again, because I’m trying to burn off vacation time and I’m too paranoid to actually take a full day off for fear that they’ll figure out how worthless I really am at my job (I think they have their suspicions).  I’m feeling pretty groggy and hazy or whatever but not as bad as I was earlier in the week.  I know that I need to start exercising, I just haven’t had the time or energy or motivation.  I’m just really trying to focus on this diet first.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 18:
Breakfast: Same
Lunch: Cheese quesadillas w. corn tortillas and cheddar and mozz. Cheese, “Mary’s Gone Crackers” w/ Kefir Cheese Spread and Sea Salt
Dinner: Hamburger Patties w/ mozz. Cheese, black olives and Spaghetti sauce. Also, steamed broccoli w/ evoo and garlic salt

P.P.S. at some point today I was poisoned with a goat’s milk smoothie and now my life has been changed for the worse (just kidding, it was okay, I guess)

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Day 17 December 28th

                I weighed myself today (I know that was dumb), I’ve only lost ½ a pound so as soon as I find a sturdy enough rafters I’m going to hang myself from them.  Not really, calm down, that’s way too much work, I’ll probably just eat myself to death.  Today was a better day energy wise, but not much, and that’s only because I drank three 16 ounce cups of black tea and yerba mate`.  I feel like this diet thing is going to have to get harder in order for it to be effective, which means I’ll have to start counting and tracking things (that’s like a whole other job in itself [I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this, but I don’t like to work]).
            So I guess there’s nothing all that special about yesterday.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 17:
Breakfast: same
Lunch: sandwich, yogurt, “Mary’s gone crackers” w/ kefir, nuts
Dinner: baked chicken w/ feta cheese and broccoli

P.P.S. Is there a special rope one should use to hang one’s self?

P.P.P.S. suicide is never funny; I should be ashamed of myself

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Day 16 December 27th

            Woke up this morning not hungry at all, I had to force myself to eat my breakfast (because we’re not supposed to skip meals…or so I have heard…somewhere).  I worked for about 5 hours and went home because I have vacation to get rid of and no overtime this week anyway so why not?  I wasn’t hungry at lunchtime either, but I made myself eat…again.  I know that not being hungry is a good thing but it doesn’t feel right.  My stomach kind of hurts, but I don’t feel sick.  I know that loss of appetite is a symptom of…like everything that could ever be wrong with you.
            All afternoon I felt tired and sick (kind of nauseous, but not too bad) and had a weird pressure in my head.  Can you eat too much sea salt?  I haven’t been drinking as much water this week as last week.  Feeling this awful really sucks.  I could feel this way eating junk food.  I don’t need to diet to get this feeling.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me. 

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 16:
Breakfast: Same
Lunch: plain organic yogurt w/ stevia & blueberries, kefir cheese and too many “Mary’s gone crackers”, celery
Dinner: squash spaghetti

P.P.S. maybe I have mono

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Day 15 December 26th

            Christmas is over and I slept for 10 hours last night, it wasn’t good sleep though because I kept waking up and remembering that I’m a miserable person.  I might need a therapist.  I wasn’t really that hungry today, I don’t know why; maybe I’m eating too much.  I know I’m eating way less than before I was on a diet and I know it’s way healthier, but normally when I’m dieting I feel like I’m starving to death (that’s how I know it’s working).  I guess I should weigh myself, but I don’t really feel like it right now.  I should be hungrier because I didn’t eat anything last night for like 6 hours before I went to bed.  I’m going to try to overanalyze myself and treat like a symptom of something being horribly wrong with me.
            Today we watched a bunch of television and a movie, the Lincoln lawyer (meh, it was what you’d expect from a lawyer flick).  I had a mini Archer season 2 marathon by myself because Charlotte hates that show (which she should because it is very inappropriate for fine Christian individuals such as ourselves, it’s so funny though).
            I’ve been having these anxiety attacks, mostly at night when I’m lying in bed with my thoughts.  They started about a month or so ago (around thanksgiving), weeks before I decided to quit taking the fluoxetine (so that’s not the reason).  I’ll be lying in bed trying to fall asleep and my chest will get tight, I’ll have trouble breathing, and my heart will race.  I’ll start taking deep breathes to try to calm myself down and they will eventually go away (after about 5-10 minutes).  I don’t know what is causing this but I have a pretty good idea it’s money related.  We’re poor by choice; it’s just not been an easy choice.  We don’t have to put our daughter in a private school, but we want to (and by we I mean my mom and wife).  I don’t know why I hate the school so much but it’s not my daughters fault so it’s probably best if I stay out of that decision until I figure out what my problem is (I think one problem is that the administration lied to me.  I was told, in a fairly stern phone call, that if I have any problems with the school I should take them up with the administration directly and not voice them openly on the interwebs.  I did this with an email that was never responded to other than being told by them that they received it and the response was coming.  That was 2 months ago, I’m still waiting. [None of this has anything to do with my health])  As far as the money thing goes we could probably cancel the satellite, although we are under a two year contract and I don’t know how much cancelling a contract costs, but I’m sure it’s not cheap.  Same with the cell phones, but how do you live without a cell phone; we don’t have a land line.  We’ve cut way back on groceries, we don’t eat out anymore, and we didn’t buy any Christmas presents for anyone but the kids and that was not even as much as we have in the past.  I don’t see how we could save any more money, but I’m sure I’m overlooking something, do we need gas?  I guess we shouldn’t have gotten a car payment, but we needed a car.
            Anyways, the whole point of that was to talk about the anxiety attacks that are freaking me out, maybe the anxiety is why I’m not hungry.  That would make it a good thing, right?

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 15:
Breakfast: same
Lunch: a ball of mozzarella cheese (not a good idea) and a weird chocolate bar with fiber and no sugar in it (I’m going to see the nutritionist on Friday, I’ll ask her if that is okay)
Dinner: Hamburger patties w/ tomato sauce, mozz. Cheese, and olives.  Steamed broccoli w/ olive oil and garlic salt

P.P.S. please ignore all of the whining that you read preceding this

Monday, December 26, 2011

Day 14 December 25th

            Well we were awakened at 8 am after 7 hours of sleep by the child who wants the presents under the tree.  She was happy so I guess that’s all that should matter, but I’m pretty miserable because we couldn’t afford to buy anyone else presents including each other.  I know it’s childish for me to want something for Christmas but it’s how I feel and I’m not going to lie about that.  Maybe it’s the effects of the chemicals in my brain, because of the change in meds a week ago, but today was a horrible day for me.
            We went to my parents’ house after we finished watching Amira and Gideon open their presents (Gideon pretty much ate the paper while Amira opened his presents).  Amira got a bunch more presents there and everyone was having a great time except for me because I’m a horrible selfish person who’s broken inside.
            We came home and watched 3 movies right in a row (Kung Fu Panda 2, Shrek Forever After, and Transformers Dark of the Moon) all of which were good enough to take my mind off of my miserableness. Then we went back to my parents and everyone ate dinner while I played with Gideon.
            Here’s the weird part, I didn’t eat any dinner and I wasn’t hungry at all.  I guess being pissed off inside curbs your appetite.  Maybe that’s a good thing.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 14:
Breakfast: same
Lunch: same
Dinner: nothing

Day 13 December 24th

            Well it’s Christmas Eve, but you know that.  I don’t think we have very many plans for today, except for church tonight.  It will be easy enough to avoid food, but tomorrow will be tough.  I’m just getting up after 8 hours of sleep, but I didn’t go to bed until midnight.  I don’t have very good time management on my days off (even on my days on).
            Today we watched some TV and some movies and I uploaded some old pics onto my computer.  Went to church and then went out to eat with my parents where I ate questionable food.  We came home and watched a movie, submarine, and went to bed at like 1:00 AM (see, horrible time management)

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 13:
Breakfast: same
Lunch: same
Dinner: Rib eye w/ seasoning that I hope didn’t contain sugar or harmful chemicals and steamed broccoli w/ garlic and butter and also hopefully no sugar

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Day 12 December 23rd

            Got up early this morning on a holiday (not a real holiday, just a paid one) to go to work to finish a report for whoever needs to read a report over the holidays.  I got back home about and an hour and a half after I left, but then I couldn’t go back to sleep so I’m sitting here writing about how I feel.  I feel tired and I feel hungry and I wonder if the grogginess was actually ever cause by the muscle relaxers because it’s day 5 off of them and I feel awful.  However, the side effects from quitting the Prozac are great.  I feel better and more creative than I have in a long time.  Now if only I wasn’t too tired to do something with it.
            We went Christmas shopping today and bought some of that expensive “bread” (it’s not bread, it’s bird seed).  We watched “Gnomeo and Juliet” tonight, because Amira loves it “soooooooo much” (someone needs to teach that kid about spoiler alerts [I guess that’s my job]).  For the most part it was a pretty decent day and I didn’t feel too awful.
            It’s weird how sometimes I’ll just stop feeling hungry at all even though I haven’t eaten anything in hours.  It’s almost like my body just gave up on even trying to tell me that I should eat.  That part’s pretty cool though,  It’s the other times when I feel like I’m going to pass out if I don’t eat something that really suck.  I’m not in a really writery mood right now (do you know how hard it was to get Word to let me write the word “writery”? [Don’t tell me how to spell, Microsoft])

Eric Anderson

P.S. here’s what I ate on day 12:
Breakfast: quinoa w/ eggs, tomatoes, broccoli, EVOO, & sea salt
Lunch: gluten & yeast free rice flour w/ millet, flax seed and various other non-bread items “bread” w/ kefir cheese spread, tomatoes, shredded chicken & sea salt
2 oz. raw pecans & almonds
Raw celery w/ kefir cheese spread & sea salt
Plain organic yogurt w/ stevia and raw blueberries
Dinner: hamburger patties w/ sugar free spaghetti sauce, mozzarella cheese, black olive, & cooked broccoli w/ EVOO (added after the broccoli was cooked so as not to destroy the structure of the oil)

P.P.S.  I know that looks like a lot of food, but for me it really isn’t and it also mostly doesn’t get rid of the cravings for a pizza or ice cream or… (I should just stop there and think about something else)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Day 11 December 22nd

            This morning I am groggy and so sleepy I can’t even think straight.  I woke up in a fog 2 minutes before my alarm went off and spent at least one of those minutes arguing with myself about how it’s better to just get up and not fall asleep for 30 seconds.  I know I had dreams last night, but I don’t remember any of them.  I think the change in my meds is making me a little emotional, so this will probably be a fun weekend.  Also, four days off in a row while on a diet is going to be very hard.   This is already the longest day ever even though it’s actually the shortest day of the year, daylight wise anyway (ha ha winter solstice humor).  I’m thirsty
            Today is not a good day, I’m tired and hungry and there is food everywhere and I just feel hazy and groggy all over.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 11:
Everything was the same except for some chicken w/ feta cheese we had for dinner

p.p.s. blech

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Day 10 December 21st Part 2: the diet

            What else is there to say?  I felt a sharp pain in the right side of my chest where I was shot in the dream for several hours after I woke up.  I don’t guess pain is the right word because it didn’t really hurt, but there was a feeling of something there that I can’t describe.  I haven’t had the headaches much more than usual at all today so maybe the muscle relaxers weren’t doing anything for me or maybe the fluoxetine caused the headaches in the first place (no, I don’t think that’s it).  I’m not hungry but I miss food a lot right now.  People are eating lemon cookies (my favorite thing in the world is lemon dessert of any kind), and various other desserts everywhere I look.  The smell of hamburgers and French fries makes my stomach growl, but this raw broccoli is good too.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 10:
Breakfast: all of this has happened before and all of this will happen again
Lunch: same
Dinner: spaghetti squash w/ spaghetti sauce and hamburger meat

P.P.S. Weighed myself again tonight, nothing has changed.  This is depressing but I know it’s a process that takes time.  

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Day 10 December 21st Part 1: the dream

            Okay, I got about 7 hours of sleep last night and woke up without the headache again and again kind of hungry but not too much.  I had a crazy dream right before the alarm went off.  It’s odd because I don’t dream very often as far as I can remember anyway.  Anyways, it was like I was watching a movie, but I was in the movie.  I can’t remember all the specifics leading up to this event, but basically my wife and I weren’t together anymore (and there didn’t seem to be any kids involved), and we were both dating other people, but I wasn’t over her (apparently it was her decision).  We might not have even been married yet in this version of my brain movie.  It’s close to the end of the movie and I’m getting ready for a date.  I go to the grocery store/ pharmacy thing that she’s working at and her boyfriend’s there but he’s kind of just chilling in the background.  I say I’m there to get supplies for the date (whatever that means).  I tell her that this is her last chance to decide she’s made a mistake and if she doesn’t come to her senses before I leave it’s over (like I had a choice, right?)  I walk out to the car and it flashes back to inside the store where her boyfriend tells her that it seems like I really love her (don’t know why he did that, maybe he didn’t care).  I’m backing out of the parking spot as she’s comes running out of the store to the passenger side of the car another car slams into her and then into my car (messed up? yes).  Then it flashes to me working in a nursing home, taking care of her mother, and her in a wheelchair.  I have a feeling that I can never leave her now because she’s crippled, which is weird because it’s what I thought I wanted.  Then the credits roll.
            My dreams are never this entertaining, but that wasn’t the end.  I went to the alternate ending section of the DVD special features and it started with us in the parking lot.  This time I wasn’t in the car I was standing outside with her, her boyfriend, and for some reason there was a cop and some other people (I thought this would be the happy ending that was missing from the real movie).  She came running out of the store to me and then her boyfriend shot her and then he shot me and the cop and some other people.  So I’m standing there with a hole in my chest all the way through my back and blood squirting out of me (I know it’s unrealistic).  We’re all standing around bleeding trying to decide which car to take to the hospital (I guess ambulances don’t exist in my imagination).  When we finally go with the police car we all get in, I remember him hitting bumps and it really hurting my gaping chest wound, we are suddenly in the emergency room waiting room (I can’t believe they made gunshot wound victims wait).  I remember seeing a friend from work there and showing him my wound and him not being all that impressed and then the alarm woke me up.  I guess I’ll never know how that alternate ending goes.
            I don’t know if this is a side effect of coming off of my meds or if this is just a random dream that I happen to remember because I woke up in the middle of it.  I guess I’ll see tonight.

Eric Anderson

P.S. this had nothing to do with the diet, I guess that’ll come tomorrow

Day 9 December 20th

            Woke up this morning, after 7 solid hours of sleep, groggy but headache free.  I don’t feel any crazier than I did yesterday or the day before, but I’m on the lookout for the madness to be creeping in.  I’m cautiously excited about the headache not being there, we’ll see how the rest of today goes.  I wasn’t hungry at all this morning, but I forced myself to eat breakfast because I thinks it’s probably important to spread out the meals and not wait until I feel like I’m going to pass out if I don’t eat anything.  I drank my yerba mate’ infused mint green tea (black tea was making me super jittery so I switched) and as always it makes my insides feel good (warm and pleasant all over).
            Today has gone pretty, I seem to have a little more energy than usual and I’m not too terribly hungry even though today they fed everyone at work barbecue sandwiches and I got to eat my bird seed sandwich and watch.  The headache has come back a little here and there but it’s mostly okay and I’m not regretting the stop in medication right now.
            Last January 3rd I started at weight watchers and lost about 25 pounds by the end of April, which put me at 320 lbs.  Last night I weighed myself at 355 lbs.  So, unless the next two weeks go fantastically better than I expect, I’m going to start next year off worse than I started this year.  It’s pretty depressing but I know it’s all my fault and I hope that it will help motivate me to keep this thing up.  I know I need to start exercising now, but that’s the hardest thing for me to do (I could say that I work too much and I’m just too tired but mostly I’m just lazy).
Went to bed a little late tonight because I was playing with the computer that doesn’t get along well with iTunes (I need a mac).  I was kind of hungry, but it wasn’t unbearable.  I can also sleep alright without the help of medication so that’s cool.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 9:
Breakfast: Same as everyday
Lunch: Same as yesterday
Dinner: Same as yesterday

P.P.S. I got nothin’

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Day 8 December 19th Part Two (the diet part)

                        Okay, let’s talk about how I’m feeling today.  Tired, sleepy, hungry, thirsty, and I don’t know if it’s paranoia but I feel like my headache is already coming back.  I’ll try not to think about it.  It occurs to me that I never explained why I quit taking the melatonin.  I’m trying to reduce the amounts of supplements I take and I don’t want to rely on a drug to help me sleep.  I know it’s not really a drug, but you know what I mean.  I’m down to 3 supplements and one prescribed drug.  I take a multi vitamin, a magnesium supplement (apparently magnesium is crazy important), niacin, and a blood pressure medicine (which the nutritionist thinks she can get me off of if I stick to the horrible diet).
            I felt like I was starving today, but not starving enough to eat any more vegetables.  Raw vegetables are hard for me to eat.  I want something salty and with texture, broccoli feels like balled up grass in my mouth.  I know I’ve done this to myself.  The parade of Christmas treats continues today.  Someone carried a basket of assorted cookies, brownies and candies around to everyone handing out whatever they wanted.  At least I’ve convinced them not to ask me anymore, but it’s still hard to watch.
            My headache came back really strong tonight, but I’m still going to hold out on going back on the meds.  There has to be a natural way to get rid of this thing, right?  We’ll see how tomorrow goes I guess.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 8:
Breakfast: same as always
Moroccan mint green tea w/ yerba mate`
Lunch: same as yesterday plus 2 oz. of raw almonds and pecans, yogurt w/ stevia and blueberries.
Dinner: same as yesterday

P.P.S. Crazy, I was crazy once, they put me in a room, a round room, a round rubber room with a couch, a round couch, a round rubber couch, and it had rats round rats, round rubber rats, I hate rats, rats make me crazy, Crazy, I was crazy once…

P.P.P.S. they put me in a round room and told me to sit in the corner, it’s a round room, there are no corners, where am I supposed to sit?

Monday, December 19, 2011

Day 8 December 19th Part One

            I only got 6 hours of sleep last night, but that’s okay because I got 9 ½ the night before (that’s how sleep works, right?).  I decided to quit taking 2 doctor prescribed medications and 1 self-prescribed medication last night. First, the self-prescribed, melatonin is something that helps you sleep.  I’ve been taking it for like 9 months, just because I thought I needed it, maybe I don’t, we’ll see.  Now for the 2 doctor prescribed medications.
            The first is the muscle relaxer, I’ve been taking it for about 5 months because of these headaches I have that the doctor can’t think of any other way to get rid of.  The medication works really well at getting rid of my headaches but it makes me super tired and way less productive (and that’s hard to imagine).  For the last 5 months I’ve felt better but I’ve been in a daze and now I’m just going to try to live with the headaches for a while.  This is a choice I have to make to keep myself employed.  I don’t know if my boss can take much more of “hazy, unmotivated, and even lazier than before” Eric.
            The second is a bit more controversial; apparently, if Facebook’s response is any indication I’m going to die. I’ve decided, without a doctor’s recommendation, to quit taking Prozac (although it’s generic, so it’s just called fluoxetine).  I’m quitting it because the only reason I was ever on it was because the doctor thought it would help with my motivation to lose weight.  It didn’t help with that at all and I don’t feel like spending $15 I don’t have every month for something that isn’t working.  Also, the nutritionist I saw on the 7th was very upset about me doing that to my brain.  I know that, having been on it for a little over a year, there are some possible negative side effects that I may have to look forward to, but I have a pretty observant group of people around me that will notice if I try to off myself (or anyone else for that matter).
            Well, I guess this is part one of today’s diet journal, even though this has nothing to do with my diet.  Part two, the diet part, will be posted tomorrow.

Eric Anderson

Day 7 December 18th

            I decided to weigh myself this morning before church (it finally registered but it was way too high to talk about…okay, screw it, it was 356.8…I know, I know it’s crazy, it’s the .8 that really bothers me though).  It was a short day because I slept until 9 this morning; I guess I needed some sleep.  Like I mentioned before, weekends are hard on my diets.  I managed to make it through without eating anything I’m not supposed to, but maybe I ate more than I should have of the things I’m allowed to have (was that as hard to read as it was to write?).
Went to bed at 11 because I have no willpower. Tomorrow should be fun.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 7:
Breakfast: same as yesterday
Lunch: new sandwich with the millet and rice, gluten-free & yeast-free (yum, no it was hard as a rock)
¾ box of “Mary’s Gone Crackers” (what? Baby steps, man)
Dinner: same as yesterday
I didn’t have any yogurt, raw nuts, or raw vegetables today.  Oh well maybe tomorrow

P.P.S. first week was hard, but hopefully it will get easier

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Day 6 December 17th

                Only got about 6 hours of real sleep last night and it’s Saturday so I’m super sleepy and really out of it.  I wasn't hungry at all this morning, but that could be due to lack of sleep.  As soon as I started eating my breakfast I got pretty hungry but that’s gone and I feel alright.  Let’s see how today goes. “Sucker Punch” was visually stunning but super depressing.  I liked it.
            Okay it’s 10 am and I’m so sleepy and I feel like I really need to eat something.  I’m going to drink a bottle of water.  Ok, now I’m hungry, sleepy and I have to pee.
            I was pretty hungry and I ate an entire box of “Mary’s Gone Cracker”, even though I’m only supposed to have six a day, I’m not very good at this diet thing.  I also found out today the fancy bread I’ve been eating all week has yeast in it which is not allowed so now I have to get some super fancy bread that’s yeast-free.
            Went to bed late tonight after watching SCRE4M (like how I did that), it was okay, not the best of the franchise, but whatever it’s a horror flick.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 6:
Breakfast: same as yesterday
Lunch: same as yesterday
Dinner: same as yesterday, except instead of salad it was steamed broccoli
Also there was the aforementioned box of mary’s gone crackers along with some kefir cheese

P.P.S. I’m sleepy

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Day 5 December 16th

            Not as hungry this morning as I was when I went to bed last night.  I got a little more sleep than the night before but I still feel like it wasn’t enough.  About 7 ¼ hours of sleep should be enough, right? It’s Friday, so I guess it’s normal to be this tired.  I’m not looking forward to this weekend because it’s so much harder for me to diet when I’m at home (it should help, though, that there is no food in our house).
            I think I’ll try to weigh myself again tonight and hope that the scale doesn’t still freak out (I’m sure it will, though I don’t think I’m that much over the maximum).  Okay, I forgot to weigh myself tonight, oh well; it would only depress me anyway.
            I wasn’t the hungry at all today, it’s weird to describe, but it’s like I’m just kind of hungry all of the time.  It’s a really strange feeling that I’m not at all accustomed to.  I guess it’s better than starving all of the time.  I need to find a way to not think about it.  Stayed up way too late tonight watching “Sucker Punch”.  Okay, it’s sleepy time

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 5:
Breakfast: same as yesterday
Lunch: same as yesterday
Dinner: same as yesterday except we added a salad w/ spinach, romaine lettuce, strawberries, blueberries, feta cheese, pecans and strawberry vinaigrette dressing

P.P.S. I have misspelled “vinaigrette” every time I wrote it this week.  Thank God for spell check.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Day 4 December 15th

            Only got 6 ½ hours of sleep last night because I’m retarded and I stayed up watching a crazy weird movie called “Never Let Me Go”.  It was entertaining and well done, but mostly sad and kind of pointless in the end.  I’d give it 4 ½ stars out of 5 because I don’t care if a movie has a point and it was sneakily science fiction without being sciency at all. I like that.  That has nothing to do with my diet.
            I had a dream that I ate an entire pizza last night.  It was freaking awesome.  I think this diet could work if I keep having realistic dreams like that.  Have I mentioned that this is the worst (or possibly best) time of year to go on a diet?  Everyone has desserts that they are just passing around to everyone else.  I’ve had to say “no thanks, I can’t” about 43,000,000,000 times today alone.  That dream pizza was delicious though.
            It’s the end of the day and I’m starting to feel gross all over and my arm is sore for no apparent reason.  Actually I kind of feel sore all over and it doesn’t make sense unless it’s because of the cold front coming or my body is literally eating what little muscle mass I actually have because it thinks I’m trying to starve it to death.  I don’t know, maybe it’s the lack of sleep.
            Watched another movie tonight and went to bed pretty hungry.  I told myself that it’s a good thing to be hungry.  Myself doesn’t agree.
Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 4:
Breakfast: same as yesterday
Black tea w/ yerba mate`
Lunch: same as yesterday
Dinner: hamburger patties w/ mozz. Cheese, tomato sauce and olives
No vegetables? I wonder why there were no vegetables. I guess we forgot.

P.P.S. Where do they keep the regular virgin olive oil?

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Day 3 December 14th

            I was crazy tired and out of it this morning.  Probably just because it’s Wednesday (I tend to get progressively more tired throughout the week) and not because of the diet…probably.  I’m not super hungry but I am starting to feel it a little bit more.  Maybe it’s just the flavors and textures of real food that I miss; I try not to think about it.  What should I do with all the time I save by not eating? Besides thinking about all of the deliciousness that I’ll never have again.
            I’ve been drinking a lot more water than usual, not sure why I’m so thirsty.  That’s not a side effect I’ve ever heard of from dieting.  I’ve also been peeing a lot, but that’s probably a side effect of drinking so much water.  I was pretty hungry when I went to bed tonight, but that’s a good thing, right?

Eric Anderson
P.S. This is what I ate on Day 3:
Breakfast: Quinoa w/ eggs, tomatoes, and broccoli
Black tea w/ yerba mate`
Synergy brand Raspberry Chia Kombucha drink (I know it’s really weird, tastes weird too)
Lunch: millet sandwich w/ kefir cheese spread, tomatoes, and shredded chicken
Plain yogurt w/ stevia and blueberries
2 oz. raw pecans and almonds
Cheese stick
Vitamin water zero
Raw broccoli, tomatoes, and celery w/salad dressing junk
Dinner: baked chicken w/ feta cheese and broccoli
2 oz. fresh mozzarella cheese (not so sure that agreed with me)

P.P.S. I’m sorry if I gave anyone the impression that I don’t enjoy or appreciate feedback both positive and negative.  I was just pointing out how obviously overweight I am because of all of the comments.  I love comments. sorry

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Day 2 December 13th

            I feel pretty good this morning, not as tired as usual and not as hungry as I thought I would be.  I decided to weigh myself and I also decided not to tell you what it said.  Because (a) even I have limits to how much embarrassing crap I care to disclose about myself and (b) the scale seems to have its own limits that I have apparently exceeded (whoops, that was the part I was keeping to myself).
            If you want to know how fat you then are just announce to the world that you’re going on a diet and if everyone’s reaction is overwhelmingly positive , as if you were probably about to drop dead if you didn’t, you should try to lose a few pounds.
            Overall today was pretty good and I stayed mostly not hungry so maybe there’s something to this particular diet.  We’ll see if it actually helps me lose any weight but in order to do that I’m going to need a bigger scale (maybe one of those truck scales on the interstate).

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 2:
Quinoa w/eggs, broccoli, tomatoes, EVOO (extra virgin olive oil, but I’m sure you already knew that) and some various spices
Plain yogurt w/ blueberries and stevia
Gluten-free millet bread sandwich w/ kefir cheese spread, tomatoes and shredded chicken
2 oz. pecans and almonds
Raw Celery, tomatoes, and broccoli and some weird dressing w/o sugar or flavor
And a salad for dinner w/ raw spinach, romaine lettuce, feta cheese, strawberries, blueberries, pecans, and homemade strawberry vinaigrette dressing.

P.P.S. Pray for my wife who has to make all of this nonsense.  Thanks

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Day 1: December 12th

            I didn’t even weigh myself because that’s not the point of this diet.  The point of this diet is to make myself feel better and healthier and all that junk.  I guess one could argue that losing weight would make me feel better but that one person would be wrong because I’ve been there before and it felt awful.  I should at least weigh myself for reference, right? Maybe tomorrow.  I’m writing this the day after so I can admit to you that I already cheated a little bit.  I know I suck, but Day 2 should go better.  I guess I should try to explain what this diet is.
            It’s sort of a gluten free plus diet.  The plus stands for food in all forms that I have come to know food in are not allowed.  NO sugar, NO wheat, NO milk, NO apples, bananas, oranges, grapes, corn, carrots, potatoes, soy, mushrooms, beans, rice, honey, syrup, cane juice etc…  Foods I can have are mostly meats, nuts, berries, healthy oils, yogurt (don’t ask how that’s different from milk), all green vegetables, cheese that isn’t moldy (?) (I thought all cheese was moldy), tomatoes, quinoa, millet and various other things that are allegedly good for me.
            Here’s how I cheated a little bit.  I ate lunch meat that was nitrate-free (nitrates are very very bad for you), but it had some sugar in like the 3rd or 4th ingredient.  Other than that one thing I completely stuck to the diet, I won’t be eating lunch meat anymore as it all contains nitrates or sugar or both or worse.
            The reason I’m writing this is to help myself keep track of what I’m doing and hopefully figure out what works and what doesn’t.  I don’t know if I’ll write every day but that is the plan right now.  I don’t feel very alert right this minute so I’m sorry if this isn’t very entertaining.  Maybe it will be better tomorrow.

Eric Anderson

P.S.  Here’s what I ate on Day 1:
Quinoa w/eggs, broccoli, tomatoes, and a little cheese
Plain yogurt (blech) w/ blueberries
2oz. almonds and pecans
Millet gluten free bread w/ slice of cheese and turkey lunch meat
Cherry tomatoes
Cheese stick
2 hamburger patties with mozz. Cheese, olives, tomato sauce and broccoli and tomatoes in olive oil

Eric and The Scale

Note: This is a reprint from my other blog. Just thought it would fit in here.

                I don’t smoke, never have, or do drugs (well, there was this one time when I was 24 I succumbed to peer pressure and really just wanted to know what all the hype was about and tried one drag of the weed, it didn’t seem to have any effect on me and I’ve never tried it or anything else again).  I don’t drink very often, maybe once every 3-4 months; it usually just makes me feel awful, so there’s that.  I’m not without my addictions though, there’s my iPhone, the internet, Facebook, etc… The worst and most obvious addiction I have is food.  I know this sounds preposterous, everyone in the world with a problem claims it’s due to an addiction, but I swear the way I feel about food has to be just as bad as the way a crackhead feels about crack or Tiger Woods feels about waitresses.  I have a mental inventory of all the food I have in the house and at work, no normal person without food issues can say that.
                First off, if you take one look at my 5’7”, 340lb, 0% muscle mass body you’ll know I have a food issue or two.  I know that every thin person reading this is rolling their eyes and telling me to shut up, put down the cookies, and go outside.  It’s insane to say that you’re addicted to food when you’re just a lazy fat ass who needs to do a sit up every now and then.  Everyone who feels that way should stop reading right now because I’m not talking to you.  Go have a cheesecake and watch some TV.
                Okay, everyone who’s left I’ll tell you my story.  I’ve struggled with weight my entire life and it never made sense why I couldn’t just stop eating.  I was able to keep it to just standard obesity before I got married, but after that I exploded from 220 to 280 in less than 4 months, that’s got to be some kind of record right?  That was in April of 2005.  In September of 2006, after many different failed attempts at dieting I joined a support group/diet program called The Prism Diet at Indian Creek Baptist Church.  Basically this diet was no sugar and no non-whole wheat flour, and even the whole wheat was limited, and no more than 1500 calories a day.  I stuck fast to that diet for 7 months and lost 70 pounds.  The main reason that worked for me was that we would track all the food we ate and meet every Sunday to discuss it so I was able to scare myself into following it very strictly or the ladies in the group would be mad at me.  That meeting fell apart and I was left alone with a wife and kid who could eat anything they wanted and I dove head first off of the wagon.  I shot from 235 to 340 in less than a year but it was slower than the first spurt after marriage.
                The whole time I was on that diet I was miserable and starving.  All I did all day and night was think about food.  I would smell something or someone would mention something that was even close to food and I would just wander around in a daze daydreaming about pizza and enchiladas.  I was watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Jeff Garlin was the guest about a year and a half ago.  He had lost a lot of weight recently and was joking with Jon about how if he held a cookie up to him he wouldn’t ever be able to stop because he was addicted to food and he was aware of it.  I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before but that’s exactly what I am going through.  Okay, so now I have identified the problem.  I don’t want to be groggy and in a daze like the last time and I don’t want to keep going up in pant sizes, there has to be a medium right? Right?
                On January 3rd of this year I joined Weight Watchers for $40 a month, they had the tracking, and the support group that I knew had worked so well for me before but they didn’t have the super strict insane 1500 calorie limit.  I went to those meeting every week and stuck to that program for 4 months and lost about 20 pounds. That’s it.  I know everyone who has ever dieted will tell you that it’s better to lose it slowly that way you’ll keep it off, but I plateaued for about and month and said screw it I can’t afford $40 a month and not see any results and spend all my time calculating points for every little thing I eat. 
                So here I am, aware of the problem and the best possible solution but nowhere to go and nobody to do it with me.  I need support and I need a reasonable plan to follow.  I’m weak and I’m willing to admit that I’m weak and I know that I have a problem.  I want to lose weight because it seriously adversely affects everything in my life.  I don’t like to go out in public, I don’t like to eat in front of people, and none of my clothes fit right.  It sucks and it really all comes down to will power and my ability to fight temptation.  I’ve thought about using this blog as a way to check in with the world about my weight or maybe even starting a different one just for that purpose.  Maybe I could start a support group, but that doesn’t sound like me at all.  I guess I’m open to suggestions as long as they’re productive and not hurtful.
                This is like the blog that wouldn’t end. Okay bye

Eric Anderson