Saturday was a wash, I woke up super late, went to work for a couple of hours, came home and watched a bunch of TV and played a whole bunch of video games (just one game but a lot of it [also, someone made me watch the screaming easily bored baby]). I think that the exercise might actually be helping my stress levels more than I had originally thought. That night I had, what I felt like was, an anxiety attack just lying in bed staring at the ceiling. It’s only been two days off, what the crap is wrong with me? Usually during the walk I’m only thinking about walking, trying not to pass out from an asthma attack, whatever podcast or music I’m listening to, and why I’m so damn thirsty. Then after the walk I’m too tired to care about anything else in the world so it is kind of a stress reliever. As for the anxiety attack, I don’t know, I started taking GABA back in December and they went away until now. I’ll be lying there trying to fall asleep and my heart will beat really hard (not fast, just one deep hard beat). Then I’ll start to panic that there’s something wrong with my heart which makes it start to beat faster on top of the weird deep beat that’s still happening every thirty seconds or so. The way I combat this is to take deep breaths until I pass out.
Sunday was a good day as far as diet and exercise are concerned. I got up early and went to work for a couple of hours, as is now my routine (yay, no days off ever), then went home and decided I should go to the track because I hadn’t been since Thursday night instead of going to church which I wouldn’t have made it to any way (needed a shower and clothes weren’t clean). I walked 8 laps (4 where I was pushing myself and 4 where I was just walking, but not that slowly) at about 45 minutes. It was nice out and there were very few people, a couple of old dudes going slower than me, an old dude going much faster than me (and he was walking), and two kids who were racing each other on the straights and walking the curves (that was entertaining to watch over and over as they passed me several times [sarcasm!]) It was a pretty decent walk that didn’t tire me out too much but I did have to keep bargaining with myself to motivate myself to keep going. I’m so weak.
I don’t think that I had that many carbs all day except for some corn tortillas for lunch (only on weekends). I think I’m giving up crackers all together now for two reasons, first, they are way too high in carbs and two, to help pay for this new Shakeology thing that I might be trying out for a month (first month is guaranteed and if it’s as awesome as some people keep reporting I should give it a shot). I read the ingredients (and there are a lot of them) (see attached picture, where I highlighted the things that may conflict with the diet that I’m not) and I didn’t see anything that seemed harmful to my health but you can look it over too if you want. I got the go ahead from my nutritionist to try it out and see if it has any adverse effects on my overall health, plus it will replace the breakfast that my wife has been getting up early to make every day for 84 days now (thanks for that, charlotte, by the way).
Sunday night we watched the new episode of the Walking Dead (very awesome) and went to bed, where I laid there having another anxiety attack (what?!? I exercised today…damnit). There are two possibilities here, one, these are not anxiety attacks at all and there is something actually wrong with me or, two, they are anxiety attacks and my stress level has escalated to a point that exercise and GABA can’t help (the third option is that The Walking Dead scared the crap out of me [I don’t think that’s it though, there was nothing scary on Saturday])