Day 43 January 23rd

            I woke up 10 minutes early today with an insane amount of unwarranted energy.  Why do I feel so awake and alert? Is it the “exercise” I did…3 day ago?  My butt (muscle) still hurts and my legs are sore.  This is really sad (how out of shape I must be).  I did consume more caffeine than usual yesterday and also a crap-ton of B-complex.  I don’t know maybe it’s a combination of all three things. I forgot to mention that I weighed myself yesterday and nothing has changed.  I’m holding steady at about a million pounds (350…it’s still really bad and unhealthy but I thought I would make it sound better in contrast to the exaggeration…did it work? No? okay, fair enough)

            I didn’t get much sleep last night.  I don’t know why but at first it was hard for me to fall asleep because I kept thinking about whether or not the boy was breathing and contemplated getting up to check but instead just prayed he would be okay and then he started crying and my wife started cursing under her breath.  I felt kind of bad because I thought I might have had something to do with that but then I dismissed it and went to sleep. I didn’t even have a cause to be concerned about him other than just the regular stuff, like statistics of children up and dying for no apparent reason.  I remember when the girl was a baby I would check on her about 5 times a night until she was like 5 (that’s years not months…I’m kind of nuts).  I never check on the boy though even though I am rather attached to him.  Maybe I’m just more relaxed because the girl made it to six just fine (physically anyway).  I don’t know.

            It’s weird that I’m not really feeling like crap right now, at 11:30, and I don’t know what to do with that.  I’m sure it’s coming.

            Okay, it’s 3:30 now and I feel awful again.  That’s more like it, familiar is good, right?  I’ve been invited to the track once again and I guess I should go because it’s got to be good for me (can’t hurt anymore anyway).  Blech…

            Are you bored yet? Still? Whatever…it’s 5:00 and I feel better after eating some celery, tomatoes, and broccoli (all raw without any sort of dressing, because that’s how I do it)

            I got off work at 6:00 and got to the track a little after 6:30.  I walked a pathetic 4 laps in about 20 minutes.  I was barely pushing myself (which is still quite slow…seriously, everyone was passing me) and my ankles and calves hurt so bad that I had to stop.  I don’t know what the crap my problem was but apparently I need to attempt this more often.  It hurts

            We went home and ate a late dinner (like 8:00 or something like that) and finished watching “the ides of march” (awesome movie if you’re into that sort of thing, which I totally am.  Also it was kind of depressing to think that that’s how our political system works…whatever, what can you do).  I went to bed still super hungry but that’s okay (maybe the “exercise” made me hungry, doubt it)

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 43:

Breakfast: sameness

Lunch: “sandwich” w/ gluten & yeast free “bread”, kefir cheese spread, tomato, and chicken.  Plain yogurt w/ cinnamon and stevia. Blueberries, raw nuts (almonds & walnuts) mozz cheese stick

Dinner: feta stuffed chicken breast w broccoli

P.P.S. maybe I am depressed, I don’t know, I mean I know I am depressed but maybe that is what’s causing this unexplained horribleness that I feel most of the time.  I’ve read the exercise is the best way to battle depression so maybe I should try some of that.  They say that “60% of the time it works every time” (Ron Burgundy! Woot!)