Day 87 March 7th

 

If you take my ball away I will eat
your pillow...

            So tonight I gave Gideon (the 7 ½ month old) a blue racquetball because he’s a boy and boys like balls (and things that are blue, I suppose).  He immediately tried to wrap his entire mouth around it because that’s what babies do, right?  Then I started to think “I hope he’s not allergic to latex” then “wait, is there latex in a racquetball?”  I took the ball away from him and he seemed upset so I gave it back (he loved it so much…I hope he doesn’t get brain damage).

...or my hand...

...or your hand...

...or your hand again.

           

Today was a good day overall.  My headache went away after a couple of hours and I had plenty of energy for the rest of the day.  I went to the track at about 6:15PM (where it was even windier than the day before, but way less people so that’s a plus).  I walked 6 laps and went home because it was late and 6 laps are fine for me right now.  When the walk started I was having chest pains that unnerved me a little bit but I just wrote them off as probable indigestion and not an impending heart attack (fingers crossed).  I’m sure if I fell out my walking partner would call 911 (oh I don’t have one of those…never mind, maybe I’ll get a life alert bracelet).

            

I ordered the shakeology on Monday March 5^th and it shipped on Tuesday March 6^th but the tracker says it won’t be here until Monday March 12^th so that kind of messes up my plans because I had decided I was going to start the cleanse thing on a weekend (if you’re only supposed to drink one shake a day and they send them in thirty day supplies, but you have to drink 9 of them the first three days won’t that put you 6 days behind at the end of the first month?)

            I wasn’t all that hungry today but I did eat the absolute last box of crackers that I will ever have tonight (because they are all gone and I won’t be buying anymore…my wife might, but I will not consider them as foodstuffs).  Also, we ate fish for dinner and that is disgusting (I only do it for nutri-zilla)

Eric Anderson

P.S. If anyone out there knows the chemical makeup of a racquetball I’ll be waiting for you to tell me why I’m a horrible father (hopefully the adorable pictures of the cutest baby in the world [shup up, you know he is, don't fight it] will help my case some)

Day 86 March 6th

            Alright, today sucked all the way through, I woke up tired, was groggy all day, super hungry, found out that I probably have a tumor (Dr. Google says so), and realized that I’m not aerodynamic enough to walk around the track with gale force winds.

            Okay, yes I did go to the track and I only walked 5 laps-for several different reasons.  First, it was crazy windy and I am like a human parachute. Second, I had to pee super bad (which kind of helped me to walk faster). Third, my wife needed to get back home because there was a chicken cooking in the oven.  The fourth and final reason was that I’m super lazy and will look for any excuse not to keep walking around in circles like a crazy person.  Also, those ladies were back again taking up the whole track…again.  Fortunately for them they didn’t get in my way this time or we might have had words (the words would probably have been “please move”)

            For the last few days I have been getting headaches after I go walking (not my usual weird one side of the head headache, but a whole entire head headache).  I Googled “headache after exercise” and came up with a Mayo Clinic link that called it an “exercise headache”.  Exercise headaches can be anything from “normal” to “tumor”.  Believe it or not, I have actually exercised before in my life and even earlier this year (a little bit last year as well), but no headaches have ever come out of it.  Also, this morning (Wednesday March 7^th) I woke up with my normal weird right side of the head headache which has been mostly gone for over a month, and very intermittent over the 6 months or so prior.  The internets also say that tumor headaches are the worst in the morning (just saying).  Okay, I know that I had an MRI a year ago and they didn’t find anything (also this headache started almost exactly a year ago), but no one who is healthy should feel like I do.

Eric Anderson

P.S. I miss carbs

Day 85 March 5th

            Today was a super stressful and completely draining day and the last thing I wanted to do was go to the track, but I did it anyway.  I was not feeling it at all even when I was on the track I was trying to make excuses to just quit and even though I pushed myself as hard as I could I felt that it wasn’t my usual push.  The track was crazy crowded but that’s cool because it’s easier to get lost in a crowd and at least pretend that no one is paying any attention to me.  There was a group of “boot camp” exercisers that were moving around from the stands (running up and down the steps) to the side field by the track (looked like jumping jacks) to the fence (weird stretching exercises) and so on, but at one point they all decided to stand in the middle of the track taking up 6 of the 8 lanes walking in a spread out formation doing some kind of cabaret style leg kicks and walking super slowly and blocking the crowd of people who were trying to mostly run (some of us were walking though).  I realize that they have as much right to exercise on the track as everyone else but when they blocked the lanes I and several other people had to just stop and wait while all the runners were funneled into the tiny hole that those selfish women so graciously left for us.  Okay, I’m done.  That was lap 3 of the 8 (part of the crucial first 4 when I “push” myself as hard as I can).  It took me 46 minutes to do a tiny bit over 8 laps so I’m not improving but it does still tire me right out so that counts for something, right?

            As far as the diet goes, I ate a tiny bit of crackers that I had left over from last week (about ¼ of a box) and I’m not buying anymore because that money is designated for the Shakeology that’s in the mail (fingers crossed that it’s not a scam).  My buddy Lori says it’s the awesomest thing that has ever happened to her in her entire life so that’s cool but I have tried thousands of the “awesomest” things in other people’s lives over the years and they rarely ever benefit me much if any (hope it works, I’m keeping an open mind, but I am extremely skeptical).  I’m going to give it a month and the first week won’t count because the first week of every new supplement I believe that my life has been permanently changed for the better (so look out for a week 2 review, I’ll probably start this thing on Monday just to have a clear starting point on a work day and not a weekend.  I’ll let you know how that goes

Eric Anderson

P.S. After my walk yesterday I was the hungriest I have been in a really long time, I was so hungry that I was sure that I was about to throw up and I had a headache.  I ate some Fage (Fa-Yeh) yogurt (that stuff is freaking awesome) and that helped a little bit but it wasn’t the same as a pizza.

Day 83 & 84 March 3rd & 4th

                Saturday was a wash, I woke up super late, went to work for a couple of hours, came home and watched a bunch of TV and played a whole bunch of video games (just one game but a lot of it [also, someone made me watch the screaming easily bored baby]).  I think that the exercise might actually be helping my stress levels more than I had originally thought.  That night I had, what I felt like was, an anxiety attack just lying in bed staring at the ceiling.  It’s only been two days off, what the crap is wrong with me?  Usually during the walk I’m only thinking about walking, trying not to pass out from an asthma attack, whatever podcast or music I’m listening to, and why I’m so damn thirsty.  Then after the walk I’m too tired to care about anything else in the world so it is kind of a stress reliever.  As for the anxiety attack, I don’t know, I started taking GABA back in December and they went away until now.  I’ll be lying there trying to fall asleep and my heart will beat really hard (not fast, just one deep hard beat).  Then I’ll start to panic that there’s something wrong with my heart which makes it start to beat faster on top of the weird deep beat that’s still happening every thirty seconds or so.  The way I combat this is to take deep breaths until I pass out.

                Sunday was a good day as far as diet and exercise are concerned.  I got up early and went to work for a couple of hours, as is now my routine (yay, no days off ever), then went home and decided I should go to the track because I hadn’t been since Thursday night instead of going to church which I wouldn’t have made it to any way (needed a shower and clothes weren’t clean).  I walked 8 laps (4 where I was pushing myself and 4 where I was just walking, but not that slowly) at about 45 minutes.  It was nice out and there were very few people, a couple of old dudes going slower than me, an old dude going much faster than me (and he was walking), and two kids who were racing each other on the straights and walking the curves (that was entertaining to watch over and over as they passed me several times [sarcasm!])  It was a pretty decent walk that didn’t tire me out too much but I did have to keep bargaining with myself to motivate myself to keep going.  I’m so weak.

                I don’t think that I had that many carbs all day except for some corn tortillas for lunch (only on weekends).  I think I’m giving up crackers all together now for two reasons, first, they are way too high in carbs and two, to help pay for this new Shakeology thing that I might be trying out for a month (first month is guaranteed and if it’s as awesome as some people keep reporting I should give it a shot).  I read the ingredients (and there are a lot of them) (see attached picture, where I highlighted the things that may conflict with the diet that I’m not) and I didn’t see anything that seemed harmful to my health but you can look it over too if you want.  I got the go ahead from my nutritionist to try it out and see if it has any adverse effects on my overall health, plus it will replace the breakfast that my wife has been getting up early to make every day for 84 days now (thanks for that, charlotte, by the way).

                Sunday night we watched the new episode of the Walking Dead (very awesome) and went to bed, where I laid there having another anxiety attack (what?!? I exercised today…damnit).  There are two possibilities here, one, these are not anxiety attacks at all and there is something actually wrong with me or, two, they are anxiety attacks and my stress level has escalated to a point that exercise and GABA can’t help (the third option is that The Walking Dead scared the crap out of me [I don’t think that’s it though, there was nothing scary on Saturday]) 

Eric Anderson

P.S. It’s hard to take pictures while walking

Day 82 March 2nd

            My knees hurt…I don’t know if this is good or bad but it concerns me.  Last night was the 4^th walk of my possible 21 days in a row of walking (and hopefully at some point running [at the least jogging]).  All week my legs have been sore as well as my back, calves, shins, and butt (yes I said it), however this pain is different.  My knees hurt like I’ve been standing of them all day or something.  I know that walking is high impact and not really good for your joints but I have thick shoes with plenty of support and I’m walking on a rubber padded track so I don’t know what else I can do to combat this.  I know I should probably just join a gym and use some low impact exercise equipment, but that costs money and walking is free.

            My energy level today has been at about a 5 (that’s from a new scale I just made up and I’m not going to say what the range is…let’s just say that a 5 is low).  I was groggy and incoherent when my alarm went off and I blacked out into some kind of weird trance while I was in the shower but I still made it to work on time (not sure how).  I’m pretty hungry this morning but I’m combating that by drinking a ton of water (more like 2 liters or so).

By the end of the day today I’m totally drained but I know I have to go to the track so I get dressed, put on my new shoes, put my headphones in, drive to the track, turn on the Nike tracker and walk to the entrance only to find a sign that says that they are closed for the next 24+ hours (what the hell? Was that sign there yesterday? I didn’t see it) for track meets.  There’s no one here except for 2 dudes with ice chests and attitudes pointing at their fancy sign (I really didn’t see that sign yesterday [it wasn’t all that fancy either…2 pieces of paper printed out with the info on them).  Needless to say I am ecstatic about not having to torture myself tonight. This does bring up a problem though.  I said earlier this week that if I didn’t do 21 days in a row I would just quit.  I can’t quit now though.  I guess I’ll just start back on Sunday…if I can find the motivation…if.

Eric Anderson

P.S. No I couldn’t just go walking on the pavement, my knees hurt badly enough from walking on the rubber.

Day 81 March 1st

            I woke up this morning (again, obviously) and I felt super super awful.  I was tired, sore, a little sick and completely drained of all energy.  I don’t know if this is because of the exercise or just life in general wearing my down.  Recently my hours at work were cut because either I don’t do anything anyway or probably because overtime is expensive (a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B…hahahaha, that was my old friend Jeromy Harrison’s joke and I just stole it…except he did it in a funny voice that doesn’t translate to the blog screen, but it was hilarious take my word for it…oh well).  It was kind of nice having a couple of extra hours every day to chill, but now the track is eating up that time (maybe I need a treadmill…you know, to store things on).  Everyone keeps saying that exercise is a stress reliever and I have noticed that I am way less stressed after I’m finished, but that doesn’t seem to last forever.  I really thought that it would magically make me a happier person, but maybe that will come later (if I can manage to keep it up this time…if).

            I feel tons better now, only a few hours after waking up (still super sore but much more focused on things that are going on around me).  It’s weird and unexplained.  I feel like I have to constantly work on making myself be happy or I will get depressed all over again (is that normal? Do regular people have to walk around thinking positive thoughts? That sounds exhausting)

            Okay, so I crashed pretty hard after lunch sometime and just felt kind of blech all over and was in no mood to go the track tonight, but I went anyway out of fear of disappointing my future self, the nutritionist and my reader.  I walked 6 laps tonight (4 as hard and as fast as I could go [about 19 ½ minutes according to the Nike graph] and two at a much easier to maintain pace [it took like 15 extra minutes for those two]).  I know it’s only been 4 days but is there a point in the future when this won’t hurt so bad and maybe even make me feel better?

            I was super hungry all day today (maybe from the “440+” calories Nike says I burned…or I’m just a fat guy who loves the foods).  I’ve decided to give up crackers all together for a while because they are my one crutch (even though they are completely diet compliant technically…just too many carbs).  I’ll try to replace them with celery; I’ll just be eating a ton of celery, maybe with peanut butter or something like that…who knows?

Eric Anderson

P.S. Davy Jones died on leap day and that very night there was a Monkees reference on a new episode of Modern Family…coincidence? Or Murder? Dum dum dummmmmmmm

P.P.S. RIP Davy Jones

Day 80 February 29th

            So I woke up this morning (obviously) and I was feeling pretty tired and sore all the way from my mid back down, but I figured that’s a good thing, right?  Although I don’t think that any human being should feel this awful just from walking in circles I know that it’s got to be done…or does it? Yes…or no? (This could go on forever).  With all my tired and soreness I still have more energy in different ways that I can’t really explain…I guess alertness is the word.  The foggy brain seems to have gone away a little bit, but not from the exercise because it was on its way out last week and I just didn’t say anything.  My body still feels awful (apparently I want both things to function properly…blah blah blah)

            I wrote a blog post this morning where I promised that I would go to the track 21 days in a row (what the crap is wrong with me? Why do I hate me so much?). I immediately regretted it but it’s out there so I went again tonight even though I felt like some sort of sickness was coming over me (are you happy, brain?)  I again walked a 21 minute mile (4 laps) which really sucks because I felt like I was pushing myself harder and getting more out of breath than the first 2 days (according the graph at Nike’s website I started out slower and pushed myself more at the end).  I don’t think I could have gone any faster because I was already having a mild asthma attack (I left the inhaler at home because I’m smart that way).  I know that I shouldn’t get discouraged or whatever and as long as it’s causing me serious physical pain then it’s working (that seems kind of sick to me).

            As far as the diet goes I was so so so so so hungry today.  I don’t know how to fix this (Nike said I burned 287 calories and I’m sure I more than made up for that with my crackers).  I know that if I let myself get too hungry I will cease to function as a “productive” member of society (some would argue I was never a productive member of anything).  I know I’m not supposed to be worrying about fat and calories, just carbs.  I probably need to stop buying those crackers…I’ll weigh myself on Monday and see if this walking has helped at all and then reevaluate the situation.

Eric Anderson

P.S. I’ve been told that I should be taking credit for the “cool down” lap because it is still technically a lap that I actually walked from one place to another with my actual legs.  Soooo, I guess I’ve walked 5 laps every day (so far) this week. Yay? This brings me to 3 of 21…ugh

P.P.S. want to hear something corny? Too bad.  Why is it called house training when you try to teach a dog not to go in the house but potty training when you try to teach a child to go in the potty?  I know I’m dumb.  This is what happens when my focus comes back. Sorry

P.P.P.S. Happy Leap Day!!!!!  Go out and murder a clown because today it doesn’t count. (that’s two references to hilarious things I saw last week…you figure it out)

P.P.P.P.S. I posted this the day after leap day because I don’t really want any clowns to be murdered (although they kind of deserve it)

P.P.P.P.P.S. I just wanted to see how many of these I can do.

Day 79 February 28th (rest of the day)

            The rest of my day, as predicted, sucked…a lot…so the questions are did I make that happen or was it going to happen anyway?  I’m going with it was going to happen anyway, but you’re welcome to your opinions.  I went to the track again tonight and walked my 21 minute mile and my 21 additional minute “cool down” lap (shut up, Jim).  This time there were less hooligans loitering and more overweight women with children on bicycles (the children were on the bicycles, not the overweight women) riding in front of where I was supposed to be walking, but whatever.  I was so tired and sore after this walk I don’t know if I’m going to make it to the track tomorrow.  I could barely walk for the rest of the evening.   My back hurts and other places that I didn’t even know that I had muscles.

            Forget what I said about not going tomorrow, I have to go.  I have to go 21 days in a row or I will quit.  Why 21 days? Because some chick on Oprah one time said that 21 times is what it takes to make something a habit and my wife says it to me all of the time.  I don’t know if 21 days/times means anything at all.  It may just be some arbitrary number this lady pulled out of a unicorn’s butt just to sell a book and be on Oprah (hey, I’m not judging, if I had a unicorn’s butt I would be all over that).

Eric Anderson

P.S. If anyone out there has a spare unicorn let me know.

Day 78-79 February 27th-28th (early morning)

            On my way to work this morning (I had to drive because my wife is having surgery [not real surgery, she’s just getting her tubes tied]) I was unintentionally listening to the local (Dallas/fort worth) Christian music station (the wife listens to it in the car because when she’s listening to the edge and NIN comes on, even though she really wants to rock out like it’s 1996, she changes it because the kids are in the car and they don’t need to hear that) and is this the best that Christian music has to offer us? Really? It’s very…how do you say…bad horrible awful poppy (is that the correct spelling of the word that I intended to use?).  It’s just a thought I had on the way to this place.

            I finally made it to the track last night (the 27^th) and walked around that thing 5 times (four as fast as I could at a pathetic 21 minutes and one as slow as humanly possible without falling down because I felt like I was dying and that last lap might have also taken 21 minutes but I don’t know because I stopped timing).  I hate the track, it is evil, it is there just to taunt and laugh at me along with the 15 or so children (15-17 years old at best) that were loitering around in the field and stands area (I couldn’t actually hear what they were doing because I had headphones in but I’m sure it wasn’t good).  My new shoes did not help me as much as I thought they would and I think they might have even hurt me a little bit.  It seemed like it was hard for me to balance and land every step in the appropriate position and it felt like it was putting undo strain on my ankles. I don’t know. Hopefully I’ll be able to make myself do this more often, but I feel like there will be plenty of good excuses not to in the near future.

            I wasn’t super hungry today; I forced myself to eat raw broccoli, tomatoes, and celery even though I have grown to hate those things.  I did eat crackers last night but that was only because I went to the track and a promise is a promise.  I feel pretty tired this morning and also annoyed, let’s see how this day goes.

Eric Anderson

P.S. I didn’t take my blood pressure medicine last night because I ran out and I didn’t get any more for reasons beyond my control and I’m pretty sure that the universe is conspiring to kill me this morning.  Every single little thing that can go wrong is going wrong and I can tell that today is going to suck…so so so much.

P.P.S. I know that there are better Christian bands than the contemporary crap they play on that station so please don’t get mad.

Day 75-77 February 24th–26th

            Okay, so I’m a bad blogger and I’m a bad goal keeper (a person who keeps their self-imposed or even externally imposed goals not a sports reference [if it could be construed as such]).  Of the four goals I kind of kept the one about blogging at least every other day, except I didn’t blog every other day I just did 3 in a row and stopped (can I get half of a point for that much?).  I didn’t read any chapters (or pages for that matter) of the book I had planned to read.  I didn’t go to the track twice (or once).  I did write two crappy fiction paragraphs, but then I got a headache and stopped.  I thought for sure this would work for me.  I guess I could double the goals this week, but then I wouldn’t do them again and then next week I’d double them again and I’d get overwhelmed and crawl into a hole and cry (what? You don’t have a crying hole? Freak).

            The last few days of this diet have been pretty ordinary and not too difficult (which is why I’m absolutely sure I’m doing it wrong).  I haven’t lost any weight at all (I did weigh myself), but I am still losing inches (more like centimeters [millimeters]) so that’s something (no it isn’t…I need to see that number drop).  Before you remind me that if I were to go the freaking track I would possibly succeed in a more timely manner let me remind you that I know that, but I am dumb.  I should give myself rewards for going to the track.  No more crackers (carbs) until I walk for at least 30 minutes.  I wonder if I’ll be able to stick to that (no I don’t, I know).  Well that wraps of the physical part of this blog.

            Now for the mental (over) analyzation.  I need to read something or play more mind stimulating games or get a pen pal (is that even a thing?).  I don’t want to cut out TV completely or video games or podcasts, but maybe limiting it to a certain amount of time per day would be okay.  I would read during lunch but there is usually like 50 interruptions on my lunch break (everyone I work with is rude and inconsiderate…including me, I’m sure)

Eric Anderson

P.S. I’ve decided to quit telling you what I ate all of the time because it doesn’t ever change.  If there is a major change in the way the diet works I’ll let you know.

P.P.S. Someone just walked into my office eating pretzels and talking to me with their pretzel breathe fumes spraying all over my face (Someone who knows damn well that I haven’t had bread in 77 days) and just popping pretzels in their mouth and crunching and talking and breathing and repeating that whole process over and over and over.  Would it be a sin to punch this person in the face? Even it was a woman? Even if she was like 80 years old?

Day 74 February 23rd

Dear Pen Pal,

            My name is Eric and I have a plethora of non-problems I would like to discuss with you today.  First, I’m extremely overweight which means that I have access to quite a large food supply (also, known as the good ol’ USofA [double cheeseburgers are only a dollar…almost everywhere]).  Second, I hate my job which means that I have a job unlike many many other people.  Third, I have an overall feeling of discontent which means I’m still breathing unlike most people (to paraphrase Louis CK).  Fourth, my laptop has been at fry’s for like 3 weeks now (what are they doing to it?).  Fifth, never mind this was a bad idea…

Eric Anderson

Day 73 February 22nd

            Well I woke up about 47 times last night and most of those times were between an hour before my alarm was set and the time when my alarm was set for.  I had a tremendous amount of focus (enough to write two different blog posts) but not a lot of energy (they were quite short blog posts).  I worked my newly scheduled 10 hour days (down from 12, which is good and bad but ultimately doesn’t matter because I’m going to be working for free when I get those inane phone calls from unmentioned persons I’m obligated to talk to…again for free).  I didn’t read anything except for a super interesting (and short) article about ancient sleep patterns (Here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783 ).  I didn’t write any more fiction, I didn’t go to the track but I did post on this blog so 1 out of 4 is not so…great, but whatever.

            I wonder what is troubling my sleep pattern and I really wonder how people used to wake up after four hours every night without alarm clocks (read the article).  Today was not that bad as far as hunger goes, and as I mentioned earlier I wasn’t as drained as I was yesterday (something else I should look into). 

I’ve noticed recently (this year) about myself that having a mentally stimulating conversation with another person, no matter how short that conversation is it seems to give me more energy and make me at least feel like I could be more productive if I actually used this renewed focus and energy.  At first I thought that it was just because I was talking to my brother (although all of this talking took place through text message, it still counts) and I just missed him (I do miss him and every time we talk I’m inspired to change my life for the better), but then I had a conversation with a different person and it made me want to write more than I usually want to.  These conversations have to be about something that I’m interested in or it won’t work (I don’t think anyway).  Over the years of working mostly with people who don’t speak the same language as me (the ones that do only want to talk about things that don’t interest me at all) I’ve forgotten how important conversation is to me.  So now I have to find a person who I can correspond with (no time for face to face or telephones) who is not annoyed by me and wants to talk about the same things.  Maybe there’s an app for that.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 73:

Breakfast and Lunch and snack: the same

Dinner: spaghetti squash spaghetti (sounds weird but it is what it is)

P.P.S. I was always funnier when I had friends and/or English speaking coworkers that were raised in the same decade as me (at least they seemed to think so)

Day 72 February 21st

            Yesterday Today was a weird day.  I woke up with foggy brain after not sleeping very well at all although I’m not sure that was the cause of the foggy brain.  This has been ongoing for over a year so I decided to Google the words foggy and brain and I learned that in means that may brain is inflamed and this could be caused by a whole plethora of different maladies (from stress to tumors).  I’m pretty sure I have them all.  All I know is that I sat down to start one of my goals (writing something…anything) and I wrote two paragraphs that I have entitled “Ordinary Boringness That Was Vomited From Eric’s Foggy Brain”.  After those two short paragraphs I had a giant headache and couldn’t remember why I ever thought that I could be a writer.

            As far as the goal of walking goes, I still have 5 days to go so get off my back world.  I was pretty hungry yesterday today for no apparent reason, it’s not like I did anything.  So, I ate a bunch of seeds and kefir with “mary’s gone crackers” (they are gluten free, but I’m not supposed to eat that many of them on account of all of the carbs) I didn’t read anything today but did manage to play video games for an hour and then watch a couple hours of TV, so that’s progress, right?

This haze that has overtaken my brain is really getting to me, I think I have early onset Alzheimer’s (I think I’ve said that before, that’s probably a symptom), my short term memory has gone to complete crap, but my long term memory is still quite awesome.  My ability to speak properly and remember words is diminishing at an alarming rate. 

I crashed on the couch in the middle of watching TV (don’t tell my wife, I don’t think she noticed).  Why am I so tired?  I don’t know it yet but I couldn’t sleep very well tonight either.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on day 72:

Breakfast: Quinoa, Egg, Mozz Cheese, Broccoli, Tomato and EVOO Casserole (A.K.A. Quinoamelet)

Lunch: Millet Bread (I’m almost out of that crap and I will never go back, it’s awful) w/ kefir cheese spread, chicken and tomatoes.  Plain Yogurt w/ stevia and cinnamon (favorite part of my day). Raw almonds and pecans, mozz cheese stick, blueberries and raspberries

Dinner: baked stuffed chicken w/ feta cheese, peppers, butter and broccoli w/ garlic olive oil

Snack: the aforementioned kefir with pumpkin and sunflower seeds (raw) and crackers

Pills: way way way too many

P.P.S. I ate too much today

P.P.P.S. Deep within the fogginess there is something witty that should be written here but I can’t seem to see it right now. 

Day 65-71 February 14th-20th

            Okay, I guess I should apologize…again to the 3 people that read this thing (sorry Charlotte, Valerie and what’s-her-name [you know who you are…or maybe not, I don’t know]) for not ever updating it anymore.  I don’t know why I haven’t done it.  I have not reasonable explanation as I had more energy and felt better than usual all last week (which isn’t to say that I’m at 100% [I still think there’s something pretty bad wrong with me, but I can’t prove it so every night I cross my fingers and hope I wake up in the morning {nights are the worst}]).  What would happen is that I would miss the first day and then I would think about writing but I would say that I have to write the day before and then it all piles up.  I’m not going to go day by day on this thing because mostly they all run together.  Let’s go in sections instead.

Dreams

            I’ve been having weirder and weirder dreams lately, mostly I can’t remember them other than a feeling that something weird happened (no, I’m not going to start a dream journal).  There are two that stand out as being particularly weird or at the very least traumatic.  The first falls into that latter category.  I dreamt that I woke up and my iPhone had deep grooves carved into it and I had no idea how it had happened, then I remembered that I went out drinking the night before (something I’ve never done [I drink alone…in shame {except for this one awkward thanksgiving at my mother’s house…you don’t want to know}]) and I guess me and the group I was with thought it would be fun to carve into our phones.  That dream was stupid, but it scared the crap out of me.  The second is weirder.

            I don’t know why but in my dream I was in charge or responsible for something within my family (my parent’s family) because I was the first born and it was my “birthright” (I don’t even know what that means).  My mom took this responsibility away from me because I had lost “favor” with God or something to that affect.  I don’t know what this responsibility was but she effectively disowned me.  I was quite upset about this and told her that she couldn’t see the kids anymore and my wife looked at me like she thought I was overreacting.  My mom didn’t seem to care that she couldn’t see the kids anymore because she felt like she was doing what God wanted her to do so there’s no way she could be wrong about this decision no matter what the consequences.  Then we left and I woke up.  It was quite disconcerting.  I don’t know if it’s the diet or what but I’ve never remembered so many dreams in my life.

Diet

            I went all week last week without eating any extra carbs.  I ate a bunch of nuts and seeds and whatnot (you know, good fats), but I don’t feel like I’ve lost a single pound.  I haven’t weighed myself, but I just have a feeling like I haven’t lost anything.  I bought some new shoes so now I don’t have an excuse not to go to the track.  I’m growing a little tired with all of the pills I take every day (cleansing is hard), not to mention some of the foods I’ve been eating every day.

Goals 

Here’s a list of my goals this week, hopefully setting a deadline will motivate me to do something:

Go to the track at least twice before next Monday (the 27^th)

Update this blog every day or at least every other day (I’m already bargaining)

Write something fiction (anything…at all…doesn’t matter how long it is…anything)

Read 5 chapters of a book…any book…just do it…that’s a really low number of chapters…come on

            Well, that’s the end of this update

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate all of those days that I didn’t talk to you:

Same things every day that I always eat, plus we ate some more fish and it wasn’t awful (I don’t get me)

P.P.S.  Happy Valentine’s and/or President’s Day(s)

            

Day 64 February 13th

            Okay, I got up, was groggy, bumped into some stuff, took my pills, got ready for work, went to work, and suddenly had an unprecedented amount of energy…so I wrote a blog post…a really long blog post…on my break.  The rest of the day went pretty well as far as all that was concerned.  Not a super stressful work day, not hungry really, didn’t feel awful, didn’t have a headache, wasn’t even that fuzzy-in my brain. So the crazy part of me wants to know why this is happening and what I can do to repeat it, but I know that I have to hurry because the impending crash is looming over my head.

            Alright, so what did I do that was abnormal yesterday? Several things I could list here are: one, I went to church (doubt this is it but in the interest of scientific discovery it must be included in the data), played a video game that I love a lot (sounds weird but these types of things affect my mood [music, television, movies, video games, books etc…if they connect with me in a way that I can’t describe other than to say I love them]), watched the season premiere a show that I missed a lot (put this in the same category as the video game), drank a whole lot of caffeine, didn’t get very much sleep, and had a ton of protein for dinner.  After careful consideration of all of these things I’ve determined that I’m not a scientist…so I don’t know what they mean.

            I have noticed that everyone in my house seems to be foggy brained so maybe it’s environmental or dietary.  I should look into that after I find and/or become a scientist.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 64

Nothing new

P.P.S.  Also, I forgot to mention that it was the first day off I’ve had this year so maybe that helped.  Who knows?

Day 52 - 63 February 1st – 12th

            I’m writing this on Monday the 13^th and let’s just say that I’m on my lunch break or something like that, because I’m at work.  I went to church yesterday for the first time this year and it was a little awkward, probably mostly on my end.  I know that everyone else is there to worship God (will God get offended if His name isn’t capitalized?) and not to necessarily interact socially so I should feel safe there of all places and yet not so much.  The pastor came up to me from behind and held out his right hand in a kind of a handshake offer, but also with his left hand lifted in a possible hug offer.  I stood there staring at both of his hands for what seemed like an eternity (by the way, you rarely hear of anyone using the phrase “it seemed like an eternity” as a good thing, but “eternity” is what we’re being sold, just saying).  I feel like at this point I should mention the hell that the whole handshaking business is for me.  Any time a person (it’s mostly males) holds their hand out for a handshake I have a mini panic attack.  Do they want a traditional handshake?  What if I grab too hard? What if I grab too soft? What if my hand doesn’t make it all of the way in before the full grip occurs and then I’m standing there with this sort of half of a handshake and he/she is holding just my fingers like I’m a woman in whatever century they used to do that thing where they grabbed a ladies’ fingers and kissed them?  And that doesn’t even touch on the whole “gang” handshake thing that’s now a possibility and I always ALWAYS  screw up.  I don’t know how to wave my hands around and slap or bump things (I’m not cool).  Okay, so we’re standing there, I look at his hands and then at his eyes and then back at his hands and then I run the possibilities through my head.  I know that he’s too old or at least too country (old school) to expect and one of those fancy fist bumpy handshake things (if it’s a handshake he wants it will be the classic straight ahead hand shake, like men should shake hands), but he might want a hug.  This is not out of the realm of possibility as we have hugged in the past so there is precedent.  I’m looking at his hands and then his eyes and then his hands and this has gone on too long.  I go with the handshake.  The handshake is perfect I go in with a good amount of speed, not too fast to appear overzealous and not too slow to appear trepidatious.  The grip was right in the middle of not too hard, like I’m trying to prove something, and not too soft, like I’m not really there.  As I’m shaking his hand he looks at me with a confused look that told me that he was looking for a hug.  Damnit, I could have used a hug today to.  Maybe next time, don’t be so ambiguous with your handshake/hug confusingness.  This all speaks to my mental health more than my diet and physical health so let’s get onto that.

I know that I have really fallen behind on this thing and I don’t even know if anyone has even noticed (not a whole lot of outcry from my fan, but she’s probably busy).  Here are the excuses but ultimately it’s just because I’m a bad bad blogger.  First, I felt and continue to feel awful.  Second, I’ve spent most of my free time sorting through 14,000 pictures, which I narrowed down to 5,000 and I’m not finished.  You wouldn’t think of sorting through family photos as work but for some reason it’s really quite extremely draining.  It would give me the biggest headache after a few hours and I would just feel like I had been “working” all day when I was finished.  If you want to see any of these pics here’s a link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/therealericanderson/ and if you don’t then that’s fine too.  I’m not finished, as I still have about 2,500 to post, and if you do look at them you might think that they could stand to be edited down quite a bit more, but trust me there are many many more photos  deleted than posted. Okay, so now that the excuse portion is over let’s go day by day to describe how this diet thing has been going.

Wednesday (2/1/12)

I felt horribly horribly awful, the kind of awful that tells you that you’re pretty much done for and you should make funeral arrangements because you could never feel worse than this.

Thursday (2/2/12)

I felt worse than the previous day…guess I spoke too soon.

Friday (2/3/12)

Today was no different, but I did go see the nutritionist so I should report how that went.  I’ve lost 4 pounds since the last time I saw her (Friday, December 30^th) so that was a ginormous disappointment, but I had also lost 3% body fat (I still don’t know what that means, but she seemed very excited, of course it is in her best interest to make me feel like we are making progress [I shouldn’t be so cynical, I’m sure she actually care about me…right?]).  She put me on a bunch of new supplements and also explained that this cleanse that I’m on could be why I feel super awful and then feel super great and then back to super awful again.  Something about my liver sucking out the toxins takes a lot of energy (who knew?).  She wants me to ask my real doctor to run a blood test and check for mono or Epstein bar or something like that.  Also, I need to get my thyroid (again), vitamin D-3 level, and while he’s in there he should check my blood sugar (speaking of blood sugar, let’s go back to Wednesday when I did go to my mom’s to check it and it came out an 89 which I’m told is good so I guess it’s not diabetes that’s making me feel this way).  She’s a super nice lady who really seems to be trying to help me (she actually suggests that I buy supplements from other places than where she works because they are cheaper and she knows that I’m broke [see, now I feel bad for being cynical earlier].  Obviously she wants me to attempt exercise more but she was proud of the 3 times I’ve walked in the last 5 weeks (she says I need different shoes to support my ankles while they are trying to hold up my fat ass [my words, not hers]).  My boss wanted me to ask her if she preferred to be call Nutri-Nazi or Nutri-Zilla and she much preferred Nutri-Zilla (said she was tired of being called a nazi).  That’s how that trip went.  Here’s a list of all of the supplements I’m on now: source naturals’ life force multi (w/o iron, guys don’t need iron because they don’t bleed every month), source naturals’ ultra-mag, magnesium malate, b- complex, D-3, gaba, solary’s niacin, iso cort, 5-htp, some ginseng junk, baby aspirin (6 a day), and I’m still on blood pressure medicine (another thing she thinks might be making me feel badly)

On saturday I dropped this on my foot

Saturday (2/4/12) and Sunday (2/5/12)

            On both of these days I worked about 2-3 hours and then spent the rest of the time watching television and movies and feeling like I was dying.  Let me describe this dying feeling that I have.  It’s like something is pulling me down into a hole from my insides.  My bones hurt, my whole body is tired and drained, my head is fuzzy and I have trouble focusing or concentrating on anything at all.  It’s a slow weird death but death none the less.

                                                                    Monday (2/6/12)

This is what my poor foot looked
like on monday morning

            I went to bed Sunday night thinking that all the rest I got was going to make a difference, but Monday morning was an awful bit of awfulness.  I walked into to work and immediately went from being optimistic about my week to pissed off at and about everything (what is that all about?).  It has been an extremely difficult couple of weeks prior to this as far as employees and work and whatnot are concerned so I guess not thinking about it for a 2 half days didn’t help the matters.  So yeah today was not great.

Tuesday (2/7/12)

            More of the same as far as work and feeling gross go.  Tonight, my laptop crashed…hard and everyone that knows me was convinced that I was going to just freak out, but something inside me just said “screw it”.  This makes absolutely perfect sense in context with the last two weeks of my life.  It was still under warranty but it’s probably my hard drive and I have a lot of stuff on it.  I do have it backed up on an online hard drive website but that could take weeks to redownload all of that info (like 250 GB).  What I’m saying is that I feel like I was perfectly justified to freak right out and normally I would (if you go back to October of last year you can see how badly I handled not having a phone), but for some reason I just said “screw it” and I didn’t really get upset and even now I’m not even a little concerned about it (even though Fry’s has not called me with a diagnoses).  Plus side is that they gave me a loaner laptop, but what can you do with someone else laptop besides get online and check your Facebook status.

Wednesday (2/8/12)

Every time my wife or I see this
bag out of the corner of our eyes
we think it's a cat (which we don't have)
Why don't we just move the bag?
I don't know

            Today was a happy happy day from the beginning.  I went to work with the knowledge that I was going to be taking a half day to go to Arlington with my laptop (not because I was worried about it, but because I was looking for any excuse to get as far away from that place with those people as I could get).  I took off at noon with my wife and children (we took the girl out of school, because our priorities are out of whack).  We went to Fry’s and waited at the tech support desk for like 2 hours where I met every stereotypical nerd tech person you could ever thing of and I still wasn’t mad…at all (the wife seemed pissed).  Something inside of me was just so happy to be somewhere else that was completely drama-free.  Then we went to the book store where I bought a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird (a book that I loved when I read it in school and I always claim as my favorite book, but somehow don’t own a copy) because I can’t find it in digital (weird).  As soon as my foggy brain problem goes away I might actually read it…again.

Thursday (2/9/12)

            Back to work, I feel better today but still not great and this foggy feeling in my brain is more than a little disconcerting.

Friday (2/10/12)

            Long horrible day where everything went wrong at work and I just couldn’t make myself care enough to do anything about it

Saturday (2/11/12)

            Showed up at work at about 9:30am after sleeping in as long as I could and everything was falling apart.  I just tried to power through and get the hell out of there to go home and play some video games and watch TV.  That was mostly an alright day.

Sunday (2/12/12)

            You’ve already read about most of the awkwardness that occurred at church this day (yeah there was plenty more, but none as entertaining as the handshake thing).  We went home after church and ate and watched TV and I played some more video games after trying to read some of the book and failed miserably (could not focus…at all).  Stayed up late watching the premier of the walking dead (awesome sauce).  Then I went to bed but couldn’t sleep at all because I thought I might be on the verge of having a heart attack (weird chest pains and sharp pain in my left arm).  The reasons for said heart attack could be one, two or both of the following reasons.  One, I drank entirely too much caffeine today and two; I ate a humongous steak for dinner (can steak cause a heart attack? Probably, but that quickly? Maybe…who knows?)

Eric Anderson

P.S. here’s a rundown of what I ate during my week + vacation from blogging:

Breakfast was the same every day

Same for lunch

Dinner was all of the same dinners I always have except for on one of the nights we had tilapia (I haven’t had fish in something like 13 years, because I hate it, but Nutri-Zilla was quite insistent that I add it to my eating habits) It wasn’t horrible, it wasn’t great either, but I can stomach it if I have to

P.P.S. what? This wasn’t long enough for you? Okay, I’ll try really hard not to let this happen again because it was all really difficult for my foggy brain to remember (something that I’m not accustomed to, by the way)

This Gave me a headache for days
Don't look at it

P.P.P.S also, for not getting any sleep last night I have a surprising amount of energy this morning…weird

P.P.P.P.S. I wrote this quite quickly so if there are (and I’m sure there are) any errors just let me know and I will fix them for the next person who reads this.

Day 51 January 31st

            Today is a day, Tuesday to be exact, Tuesday, January 31^st to be more exact, in my opinion it is the last day of the New Year.  Tomorrow is officially the start of the regular old year that we’ll be stuck with for the next 11 months, unless, of course the world does end sometime in mid-December (it won’t…probably).  What is my point you might ask yourself.  Well, I don’t have one, I just like for you to read my precious words (they are precious, because they are mine, my mommy told me so [even she doesn’t read this blog so that’s sending some mixed signals]). Okay let’s get to the diet talk.

            Today I woke up quite confused about why my alarm was going off (my brain strongly disagreed with what it was saying to me).  I had a small amount of energy today but mostly felt awful.  I wasn’t as sore from the walk the night before as I thought I would be, but what should I have expected from such a slow pace (it hurt me really bad though).  I felt progressively more awful after lunch all the way until bed time.  I actually felt so bad and out of it that I went to my mom’s house to check my blood sugar, which came out to 89 and she said that was good so I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

            I don’t think this diet is what’s killing me but it could be one of the causes.  My suspects right now are stress, depression, diet, and possibly something is bad wrong with me.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 51:

Breakfast and lunch: same

Dinner: chicken and broccoli

Also, a choc. Fiber bar thingy

P.P.S. I’ve whittled it down to about 10,700 pictures and I’m still working on it but I think I’m going to crash my Flickr account.

Day 50 January 30th

            Why do I let my job and what the other people around me think affect me so much?  Everyone has a job, they have to, I’m told some people even like their jobs, and I don’t comprehend that at all.  Most of the people I know that “like” their jobs when asked if they would quit if they had enough money say yes.  This tells me that they are liars.  They are lying to themselves and they are lying to me.  If you wouldn’t do it if you didn’t need the money then how can you say that you actually enjoy what you are doing?  You can’t.  You work out of necessity just like most everyone else on the planet.  Now, if you can find your job tolerable and it’s the least horrible thing you can do for money then awesome, but that’s not the same as “liking” your job.

            What did any of that have to do with this diet I’m on or my health in general?  I don’t know but it did make me feel better to write it so that’s something, right? It doesn’t matter really since I’m mostly full of crap.

            Today was a long and mostly awful day full of meetings and paperwork.  I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I’m too close to my boss.  I have achieved a comfort level that has allowed me to talk to him in a way that maybe doesn’t show the proper amount of fear/respect one should show for their superiors.  We’re too familiar and it’s apparently getting in the way of work.  I need to back up and count to ten and think about things before I say them and try to keep our friendship to outside of work interaction.  We’ll see how that goes.

            I went to the track again today and walked 1.12 miles in a pathetic 22 min. time period and my legs still felt like they were going to fall off.  I don’t feel like I’ve lost any weight, but I haven’t weighed myself either since I’m afraid to find out.  I’ll go see the nutritionist on Friday and she’ll tell me something I’m sure.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 50:

Breakfast: quinoa/egg casserole aka: quinoamelet

Lunch: sandwich, yogurt, nuts, and cheese

Snack: raw pumpkin and sunflower seeds and broccoli

Dinner: Pizza burger and broccoli

P.P.S. I’ve been trying to whittle down my 14,000+ digital picture library and I can’t seem to convince myself that just because I took the picture or my wife or kids are in them they are not necessarily gold.  I tend to take 15 shots of the same thing and try to pick out the, in my opinion, best one (I know what you’re thinking, anyone who has seen my pictures, that those are the best ones? Yes, yes they are) so that’s what’s going on with me anyway

Day 49 January 29th

            I woke up at 6:25, got up and slowly got ready for work, and then I went to work.  I think that working every day of this year (so far) is beginning to affect me psychologically because I’m starting to be shorter with people, not that these people didn’t deserve it (because they did).  I just don’t necessarily like the way it makes me feel.  Friday was a really hard day for me and Saturday wasn’t much better.  I don’t see much of a change coming for Sunday either.  I was told that I should let someone else take over my job on some of the weekends, but that would lazy and irresponsible and also it’s my job…so no.

            I skipped church again because I’m tired and I mostly am still avoiding human beings.  The family is back today from wherever they went so things are normal again.  I still feel awful and I’m super depressed and don’t feel like writing this.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 49:

Breakfast: quinoamelet

Lunch: quesadillas

Dinner: pizza burger

Day 48 January 28th

Woke up late

Played on the computer

Got an angry text

Went to work

Yelled at some people

Went home

Drank some tea

Watched a lot of TV

Played on the computer some more

Ate some cheese

Watched a lot more TV

Took some pills

Went to sleep

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 48:

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner: Mary’s gone crackers, kefir cheese spread, mozz cheese, choc fiber bar thingies, a bunch of pills, and some yerba mate w/ green tea

P.P.S. the family “chef” (the wife) is out of town and I don’t know what to do with myself, hence the crackers and cheese

Day 47 January 27th

Today sucked…all the way around.  It’s not diet related so it’s not really worth talking about.  It just sucked.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on day 47:

Breakfast/ lunch: same

Dinner: chicken

Snack: raw pumpkin and sunflower seeds, mary’s gone crackers w/ kefir cheese spread

P.P.S. what? This post wasn’t long enough for you?

Day 46 January 26th

            It’s Thursday (I’ve made the decision to start telling you what day of the week it is when this is all happening because, I’m sure, you don’t own a calendar/computer/television/cell phone/star chart/ sundial [I don’t know if a sundial can tell the date or not]) and I’m feeling fantastic on this beautiful morning (<not sarcasm).  I woke up confused and stumbley but I snapped out of it and my headache is gone and so far I remember everyone’s name…so far.  I woke up in the middle of the night and my breathing hose was off of the mask and my finger was plugging the hole (probably because it’s very loud when unplugged).  The machine had a giant flashing warning saying that something was blocking the airflow (weird).  I had to unplug the box to reset the warnings and put it all back together and went back to sleep.  I do odd things in my sleep…ask my wife.

            It’s 8:52 and I’m just now drinking my yerba mate infused w/ ginger peach green tea (what? I don’t like coffee).  It is a little later than usual but I was quite busy this morning with employees and whatnot (they are a needy bunch).  I’ve been taking a new b-complex all week and it seems to have given me a little more energy (in the mornings anyway) than usual.  I hope it’s that, it could be something else.  I find that trying to stay positive gives me a little more energy too but that’s really hard to hang onto.  It could also be that I now go to the track every 3 days (okay I’ve gone twice now).  That would make today the day but it’s freakin’ cold and wet out there.  We’ll see.  I got some waterproof headphones, but that probably won’t help my iPod.  Okay, break time is over, time for work.  Our new boss is here today, this could be interesting…hope he’s nice.

            At about 11:15 I crashed again but I couldn’t eat anything until 12 because of the cleanse (no food before or 30 minutes after taking the pills and drops).  After lunch I don’t feel that much better. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

            Went home, didn’t go walking, watched TV, ate dinner, got ready for work, and went to bed…late.

Eric Anderson

P.S. Here’s what I ate on Day 46:

Breakfast: same

Lunch: same

Dinner: pizza burger

Snack: mary's gone crackers w/ kefir cheese spread            

Eric and the Hypochondria - 5 part trilogy (what, does Douglas Adams own that?)

writer's note: This has all been documented in another blog, I just thought it would be appropriate to be here as well since it's health related.  If you have already read this before then please skip it, there's no need to do that to yourself again.  Also, I still haven't proofread it...so...sorry? i guess

P.S. I know that this makes me look like a crazy person.  I guess I am a crazy person.  proceed

Eric and the Hypochondria

(2/17/11)

It's my third day and I already seriously considered quitting. I had a topic in mind that I've wanted to write about for about six months now, but just didn't think I could give it my best shot today.  So I came up with some others and didn't feel them either then decided I didn't want to do this anymore.  No offense to everyone out there reading this but I'm starting to feel some pressure to write something good and I don't how to do that.  I know you're expecting some God talk and I should really learn some more before I start going there.

I've been scared for about 3 months(or maybe even longer) that I'm going to die.  I know there's something wrong with me I just don't know how serious it is or what to do about it.  I know the first thing I need to do is lose weight( that's the topic I planned for today, maybe tomorrow).  I went to the Dr. in november and he put me on blood pressure medicine and prozac, and sent me to a sleep clinic to get a breathing machine.  That all worked pretty well until mid december when I started kidney pain and weird tingling warmth would wash over my body.  So I went back and he said it wasn't my kidney is was just my back. Okay fine I'm a hypochondriac with an iPhone.  2 weeks later my chest starts hurting so I go back and he does a ekg(or whatever they do when they make you take your shirt off and stick probes on you).  He said that was fine but sent me to a cardiologist(Awesome).  I went to that guy and I was the youngest person in the whole building I'm sure.  He says I'm probably alright, but he wants a stress test and an echo(great more taking my shirt off, I don't even take my shirt off to shower...just kidding, but it does suck).  This whole process is about a month long, during which the weird tingly warmth was still affecting me while I was trying to sleep, but it turns out my hearts fine and they don't want to see me again for 30 years.  That whole month I was on google every day and diagnosed myself with GERD or acid reflux.  I called the Dr. and he prescribed some stuff. Everything was good again...for about a week.

I started getting headaches or really just a strange pressure in my head that seemed to be affecting my speech but I was the only one who could hear the difference.  I mostly ignored this until last friday when it started getting really bad.  It comes and goes and google says it could be anything from anxiety to a tumor and a whole mess of crap in the middle.  Did I mention that I wake up and both arms will be numb even though I'm sleeping on my back.  I woke up at 4 am this morning and I felt the pressure in the center of my skull pushing down and tingling all over my body.  I get up and it's fine.  I barely notice the pressure most of the days now but if I sit down it'll usually start to get to me.  I know it's weird.

I know I should call the Dr. but I'm sure he's pretty sick of me and all the money I've thrown at him since early november.  I know hypochondriacs and they are sooooo annoying, I just don't want to be that person, but I know that there is something wrong with me and if I could just figure it out I would be happier.  It's really all I can think about which is why this is the post you're getting today instead of my battle with food addiction, although they may be related, who knows?

Eric Anderson

Eric and the Hypochondria II

(3/23/11)

I’m not crazy, I swear, although I guess that might be something a crazy person would say.  Last time I brought up this subject I was waiting on a doctor’s appointment, so about 4 ½ weeks ago.  I went to see the doctor that Monday and explained the whole headache/head pain situation.  He said that it can’t be sinuses because there are no sinuses in that part of your skull.  He didn’t think it was a tumor but just to be sure he scheduled me for an MRI on Thursday (Thursday!?! Really, Doc?!  I could be dead by Thursday, my head hurts now!). So I carried on for four days and worried and prayed (sort of, prayer is not my strongest point).  Thinking what if I can’t fit in the MRI machine, what if it is a tumor, what if it isn’t, what else could it be, what if it’s worse, what does Google have to say about all of this?

Thursday comes and the headache is still there so I go to the hospital and wait…and wait…and wait…I hear people talking in the hall about calling a repairman and something’s wrong and this has never happened before and frantic whispering that I can’t understand and I wait…2 hours later the tech comes out and apologizes to me and the other people waiting with me.  He explained the machine broke down and they had to call the fix it guy and blah blah blah it’ll be 15 more minutes.  Awesome, it’s not like I have a job to be at or anything.  I know it’s not his fault but someone could have at least let us know what was going on.  So I get in the room and I have to remove all metal from my person (glasses, wedding ring [which was really hard to get off], etc…).  As I had suspected it was somewhat difficult to jam my fat ass into the tiny little tube but there’s little I can do about that right now.  If you’ve never been inside an MRI machine you should know that it’s very loud and, for me anyway, very cramped.  I get out after 20 minutes or what felt like 3 days and try my best to interpret what the pictures mean while I put my shoes, glasses, and coat back on.  The tech looks at me and says “are you alright?” to which I respond “not really”.  Then he tells me I should call the dr. and ask him to call the hospital and examine the results, but today is dr. jones’ day off so I know that I have to wait.

The next day was donate blood day at work, something that I’ve never done before but I don’t have a problem with needles and I’ve always been under the assumption that getting rid of some old blood is good for you(who knows).  When you donate blood you have to fill out quite a bit of paperwork and answer a bunch of questions about your history, medical and otherwise.  The first question they ask is “do you feel healthy?” wow, is that a good question? No but it’s just my brain so it should be alright, right?  The dr.’s office called me about noon and Lane told me that the results came out clean.  No tumor, no signs of MS (what I wasn’t even worried about that, now I am), everything’s good. Great, awesome, that’s the best news I’ve heard all…wait, what the hell is wrong with me?  The dr. said a little bit of sinusitis showed up so I should take antibiotics and come back in week or so.  I thought he said my sinuses weren’t in that part of the skull.  They’re not, but just take the medicine. Fine, so I took the antibiotics for ten days and on the tenth day I went back to the doctor.

I told him that I thought the headache was 75% better at that point but I could still feel the irritation if I thought about it. Here’s an idea, don’t think about it.  Easier said than done, doc.  He decided to change my blood pressure medicine and see what happens in a month.  I was skeptical to say the least, but he’s the doctor.  Also, he said that it can’t be a pinched nerve because they don’t affect your brain.  Fine, just shoot down all my theories (and the theories of all the “doctors” I work with).  Four days and 3000 Google searches later I decide that the Prilosec has to be the problem.  I call the dr. and let him know what I’ve discovered and he tell me “fine, stop taking it”.  So I stopped taking it, and it’s been about a week and ½ and the headache/ head pain thing is all but gone( I can still kind of feel something but I’m just hoping it’s going to go away eventually).  Yesterday I woke up and it was back and worse than it ever was before.  I’ll give you my theories on that later.

Eric Anderson

Eric and the Hypochondria III

(3/23/11)

I’m writing this post immediately after finishing the last one so you should definitely read it first(and probably part one as well if you even care a little about this craziness making any sense, and even then it probably won’t).

So yesterday I wake up and my head hurts in the same spot it did before only worse and I’m freaking out.  Could it be my teeth, or even my jaw, could it be an ear infection(my ears did hurt a little bit, and my balance has been off for a while).  I’ve got all these questions and I’m growing more concerned by the second(all of this thinking and worrying is happening in the shower by the way, quiet time is the enemy).  I get out of the shower and go into the living room where I sit down to check to see what the almighty Google knows about my problem.  Then the right side of my face gets really hot like I’m close to a fire or heater.  This does not help the freaking out.  What the hell is wrong with me?  My right eye also seems a little blurry while the left one is working fine.  Also the head pain is on the right side so maybe that’s affecting my vision. I don’t know.

I get to work and start googling some more(only on my breaks, of course[my boss reads this]).  I knew a guy who recently died of a very rare disease call Creutzfeld-Jakob disease(CJD, pronounced KROITS-felt YA-kob).  He’s actually one of the founders of the company I work for and he was an awesome dude, the smartest person I’ve ever known.  The disease is not known to be contagious but it’s so rare how can they know for sure, right.  So I look up the symptoms and, as is usually the case with the diseases I look up,  I have at least 5 of the symptoms.  Depression. Check. Memory loss. Check. Personality changes. Check. Speech impairement. Sort of.  Balance and coordination dysfunction. Check.  So I don’t have dementia, seizures, or hallucination…yet.  Obviously, I don’t want this disease(because it’s fatal in like 6 months or something) and I know I’m being paranoid because I know someone who had it.  I’ve tried to think about what I did Monday that’s different than any other day but is the same as what I was doing 3 weeks ago.  This morning in the shower something came to me

This is just a theory and it will sound crazy but here goes.  I was eating quinoa for breakfast every day for like 2 weeks( all during the time when the head pain was the worst).  Then I quit and started eating oatmeal because I was worried about my cholesterol(200).  That’s when the head pain went down to a 1 from a 4 or 5.  Monday night we ate quinoa for dinner(the first time I’ve had it since I quit eating it for breakfast).   So as best I can figure the only thing I did differently was eat something everyone says is the greatest, most healthy food ever made.  What? Ok, maybe it’s like pomegranate juice, that stuff makes me feel nauseous every time I drink it but I keep doing it because it is awesome and allegedly awesome for me.  My theory on the pomegranate juice has always been, maybe the juice is killing something bad in my and it doesn’t like it so it makes me sick.  If I apply this same theory to the ever-present head pain then I can assume that the head pain is being irritated by whatever is in the quinoa and it doesn’t like it.  Now I realize that the head pain is just a symptom and not the actual problem so it doesn’t make sense that everyone keeps telling me just to stop eating quinoa if I want the pain to go away.  I don’t want the pain to go away, I want the cause of the pain to go away.

Today my head is back to the 1 again and I still don’t know what else to do.  I quit the Prilosec so the heartburn is back and worse than before.  I’m going to try eating garlic cloves and drinking apple cider vinegar and baking soda(read it on the internet).   Have a nice day

Eric Anderson

Eric and the Hypochondria IV

(5/13/11)

I’m only writing this because I love roman numerals.  I know it’s been a while, over a month actually, but I’ve got an excuse, I’m lazy and my head still hurts but much less because I solved the problem.  Me, all by myself and the doctors think I’m crazy, which may well be true but it works so screw ‘um.  If you’ve been following this thing then you know that I over analyze everything I do and how it affects me and what it all means.  So I have to apologize to quinoa because I unjustly accused it of causing this thing and it was not true at all.  I’ve narrowed down this headache thing to grinding/clenching teeth I hope, but that’s not the best news.  I accidentally figured out that either B12 or B3 (niacin) will make my headache go away (for the most part anyway). 

Every day, I evaluate how I feel and what may or may not be causing the good or bad feelings of that particular moment.  I would watch my diet, environment, and stress levels to see what could be helping or hurting me and I noticed that when I took this B12 complex my headaches would go away longer than usual.  I examined B12 deficiencies and didn’t think that was possible since my blood had been checked several different times this year.  I looked at the ingredients and noticed that niacin was one of them and remembered the people at work noticing that my face was red and thinking I had a fever when it was just the natural reaction of niacin to the blood.  I immediately googled niacin + migraines and discovered that there is considerable evidence to suggest that niacin may help migraine sufferers but there have been no actual tests to prove this to be fact.

I told my doctor, neurologist, dentist, friends, coworkers, family, and anyone else that would pay any attention to me.  Pretty much everyone thinks I’m nuts and there’s no way that this should be working, but I promise that it make the headaches about 85% better.  My doctor told me to quit taking the migraine medicine that he prescribed just to prove that I was wrong and he was right but 4 days without the medicine and the niacin still seems to be awesome.  Anyway, I just wanted to let anyone who cared about these posts know what has been happening for the last month.  Later

Eric Anderson

Eric and The Hypochondria V

(9/23/11)

                Okay, I might have been a tiny bit overly cocky in my last post (Eric and The Hypochondria IV 5/14/11) about having “solved” the problem with my skull pain.  That was a little bit of an exaggeration but it is still 85% better than it was in February and March.  In the last four months I’ve mostly stuck with the niacin solution I accidentally discovered and it’s been okay.  I tested it a few times by not taking it for a day or two and the pain came back strong.  The headache is still only on the right side on the top of my head with the occasional shooting pain in various other spots of my skull.  I finally decided to go back to the doctor in mid-august just to see if there was anything else he could offer.  He’s kind of stumped and I’m still kind of scared.

                He decided to put me on muscle relaxers, because he’s always believed that this is probably a stress headache and he wants me to chill.  He also took another x-ray to see if the original sinusitis was gone and I haven’t been getting enough radiation in my day to day life.  I started taking the muscle relaxers at night before I went to bed and they did a really good job of making me even less functional at my job than before.  After a few days of that the doctor called and said I do still have some sinusitis and he wants me to take antibiotics twice a day for a month.  The headaches were getting better so I continued with the muscle relaxers and took the whole month’s supply of antibiotics.  For that whole month the headaches were 99% gone with the occasional fleeting achiness in my head. 

                Now I’m out of antibiotics, but I’m still taking the muscle relaxers that make me feel awful all day every day.  If it’s the antibiotics that were making me feel better then I should be able to stop the muscle relaxers.  I tried that for one day and the headaches came back.  So now I’ve been without the antibiotics for about a week and I feel the headache today, but maybe it’s just paranoia.  Either it’s stress or sinusitis or a brain tumor or any of the million different things that Google has taught me about this year.  I don’t know, maybe I need surgery on my skull.

Eric Anderson